Fire Bug

[Joey Delgado]

The genesis of the experiment could be traced back to a card game, a game of pinochle played by the adults while us kids pretended to watch television, but really we listened to our parents cursing and laughing and smack-talking and telling stories.

 

I don't remember who it was that brought up the subject of unusual insects or how it turned into a discussion about potato bugs, an insect that, we learned, had the face of a baby, a baby for God's sake.

 

We sat so still as one of the adults talked of this strange creature with the baby face and its segmented black and gray body, a nightmarish invader crossed over from some piebald underworld.

 

"Did you know they scream when they're burned," said my mother, her sweet voice carrying cruel gospel to my ears, and us kids swore if we ever saw a potato bug we'd capture it, put it in a ring of fire, and listen to it scream.

 

The day came we had a potato bug in an empty Folgers can--looking exactly like the grown ups said--and we squirt a circle of lighter fluid on asphalt, struck a match, watched the flames rise, and quickly dumped the bug in the middle to face our makeshift, flaming arena.

 

There was no screaming, just panicked scampering, that expressionless baby face searching for a break in the heat, finding none, eventually choosing to burn, and we watched as he did, still waiting for a scream that never came.

[Joey Delgado]

Thanks you guys! I assure you all that my bug-killing days are far behind me, and every now and then a potato bug (also called a Jerusulem Cricket) will show up on my front stoop and I say a quiet apology. They get a bum wrap because their appearance is so shocking, but they really are the most easy-going of insects.

Also, I don't think my mom liked this story because it makes her out to be a bad guy (albeit, an accidental one). She is a lover of all creatures great and small. :)

[Kristine_ES]

i think the thing i liked best here is that it is complete, whole, and you could have written an entire 20-page chapter on this scene, but it was six-sentences tight.  excellent. 

(i'm sorry for the bug, and the kids who overheard the conversation.  probably mom didn't want the kids to try that experiment?) 

piebald is (what's a technical word, ironic?) opposite, something you'd never use with underworld, and that's what makes it work.  speckled, dappled fairy fields yeah...   piebald hades?  hell yeah. 

[Bill Floyd]

"Piebald underworld" does indeed rule, along with the other snippets the rest have mentioned.  As a bit of a pyro myself growing up, I sympathize with some of this, but the genius is in the juxtaposition of total creepiness (kids burning living things, an insect with a baby's face) and childish innocence (kids burning the living things, etc).  

Don't just save the drafts, man.  You're too good for that.  Do a Copy & Paste sort of thing.  When this site eventually goes down, (I know, the whole community shudders, but technology is far from infallible) you'll be glad you did.  

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

First--love your writing.  Second--you've captured an essence of childhood--the experimentation even though it is cruel.  I remember in my third grade class a bunch of boys (why always boys??) making our classroom turtle walk on thumbtacks. 

[Bob Clay]

This is good, the inbuilt horror reminded of that scene at the end of the 1958 version of 'The Fly' when the web caught  fly with the human head was screaming 'Help me, Help me' as the spider closed in. 

[Jeanette Cheezum]

Joey, I really like your writing, but I do feel sorry for that little bug.

[Teresa]

Oh, I had to come back and mention "...had the face of a baby, a baby for God's sake."  I so cracked up.  I think you're the sort of person who would give me the giggles when I'm not supposed to laugh.  And you'd go straight-faced just when the tiny nun with large moles and bifocals decides to punish someone with detention or worse.  The I'd try to be good and you'd sketch a cartoon of a flaming baby with six legs and keep showing it to me, your bottom lip puckered, eyebrows raised.  I'd so hate you in the best possible way...;-) 

[Joey Delgado]

Thank you all for the kind words! You made my day. :)

@Cita: I'm saving all my hand-written rough drafts, but not really collecting the finals, aside from the posts.

@Mike: Thank you so much. I dunno why I used piebald and underworld. There is something unsettling about a never ending landscape made up of only two or three contrasting colors. Feels like nightmare territory.

[Cita]

Joey, I am just in awe of your talent.  This is sooo good.  Are you collecting these?

[Jadie Jones]

Well done. I love you're protagonist's voice - the things he notices and how he describes them. Even though there wasn't a lot of physical descriptions, I could see everything. I think this is my favorite 6 of yours. Favorited!!