More Experienced Ghosts II

[Teresa]

She survived the shark attack, the deep bite severing major nerves and arteries beneath her left arm, a More Magazine story that was interesting not for the way this woman dealt with physical but with the mental and emotional assault of the attack.

 

What really stayed with me weren't the emergency measures taken to save her life or the blood color of the water, but of her swimming to the boat only seconds after the shark let go, knowing she was being followed, looking back to see her left arm dragging behind, just a phantom.

 

~~~

 

I thought about this woman while drinking coffee every morning in Martha's Vineyard, while sitting near a large open window with a cheap Bic pen and small journal, my feet pulled inside the cocoon of a white wicker chair.  It was the only "me" time on the trip and I spent it studying my troubled marriage, describing my husband with only nouns and visuals like:  The History Channel, Civil War Times, Watch and Flex magazines, a dryclean only wardrobe and watch collection with tiny metal hearts assembled meticulously under magnifying lenses.

 

I did the same exercise with myself, a far more difficult task to cut the person I am now into dispassionate pieces because so much of the familiar is gone, sold, traded or thrown away -- a small house by the water, its blue trim and red rooms, Gustav Klimt prints and wooden cats, silver jewelry instead of gold, a small fishing town with outdoor markets, soothing brine and wise old trees.

 

During the trip back home a frail Japanese woman was loaded into the small Cessna 402 that would take us to Boston; her left side was limp but she was proud and tried to help as I knelt to gently pull her in, then I said, "I've got you" so that we would both feel safe.

[Teresa]

Thanks for the comments.  This six came from picking through about ten journal pages.  The "noun list" was quite long, three pages.  Lots of condensing was necessary.  The first part of the six was a flash when I sat down, as was the woman loaded into the plane.  Then I saw the link between them, the paralysis and nerve connections lost.  I did realize from this six how random we write (at least me) in our journals.  I'm so free that there's a lot to cut, and the organization/flow is almost nonexistent in places, just brain vomit, dream-like sequences, ramblings.  After about two or three pages, the pace is found and there are longer more whole passages, but there's an awful lot of plain ole' vomit. 

[Joey Delgado]

'...so much of the familiar is gone, sold, traded, or thrown away...'

It always amazes me how much emotion you can pack into six sentences. Survival, loss, anger, acceptance, all these very complicated human emotions, right here for all of us to share in, learn from, and enjoy. Great stuff. :)

And like Cita said, if you have handwritten rough drafts, scan and post them. Would be awesome to see the process, to see what was crossed out, added, and rearranged.

[Bill Floyd]

I think you would be quite the traveling companion.  There is richness here.

[Gita]

so much of the familiar is gone, sold, traded or thrown away -- a small house by the water, its blue trim and red rooms, Gustav Klimt prints and wooden cats, silver jewelry instead of gold, a small fishing town with outdoor markets, soothing brine and wise old trees. That is far, far too much to have traded away. Almost a whole 'nother world. As Cita said, wow wow wow.

[Mike Handley]

Powerful ruminations, T. You need a bigger boat.

[Dorothy Pendleton]

Teresa, this is as raw as shark-infested waters: the dragging arm, the nouns only, the parts sold, traded or thrown away, the epiphany of the frail.  Oh my, how I can identify with this.  Thank you, thank you.

[Cita]

Wow.  Wow wow wow.  I would like to know about this piece's inception.  Would like to see the handwritten notes that resulted in this post.  Wow.  Love ya, T.

[Simon Halliday]

Nice. 

...then I said, "I've got you" so that we would both feel safe.

It's funny discovering the real reason why we do things.