Dare I Compare Thee to an August Watermelon

[Brad Rose]

It’s hotter than a pancake’s ass, today. I was just slicin’ some watermelon with my butcher knife. Red pulp, sweet and fibrous, the juice runnin’ all over the kitchen table and drippin’ down on the floor, like blood. Yeah, there I was, just scalpin’ that seedless mofo, cuttin' through the rind,  and for some damned haywire reason I thought of you.  Hey, it’s been a while since we tossed back a few cold ones at the Do Drop Inn, hasn’t it?  When this next damn hurricane passes and I’m pretty sure the kids are alright, I’m gonna get on my hog and ride over there and drop in on you—just so I can whisper somethin’ real sweet into your one good ear, Christine.  God Bless.

[Kristine_ES]

i wonder where christine was as he was thinking this, and what she was thinking, and if she felt her one good ear tingle at the time. 

i think i'll not picture a watermelon the same again for a while...

[Bill Floyd]

"...one good ear..." Deft.

[bolton carley]

see, maybe you should make your way to KC to confirm the theory. :)  (okay, i'll leave you alone about it now.) :)

[Angela]

Interesting how fruit can remind one of things....

[Brad Rose]

I love mid-westerners.  Have the greatest respect and fondness, because all those I've met over the years were enviably decent folks.  I grew up in a suburb of LA, which I have often said felt like it was closer to Kansas City than Hollywood--although it was only 30 miles from Tinsel Town. 

[bolton carley]

i will always read your stuff, brad rose! :)

but really, we midwesterners know how to put on a good spread.  don't underestimate us! :)  and you'd be the perfect addition!  you still have time to talk to handley!

[Brad Rose]

Bolton

KANSAS? Where's that?

I asked my wife about the location,  and she said it was in the middle of the continent!  Jeeeez.  I may live in Boston, but I'm a California boy, through and through.  The minute I get more than 15 miles from a saltwater coastline, I start getting the shakes (sometimes I mistake these for earthquakes...because I'm a southern California boy.)

Thanks for reading "...August Watermelon."

[bolton carley]

love the pancake's ass!  gonna steal that!  and a seedless mofo?  this is you at your finest!  you really should come to kansas and have beers with us at HoW.  i'd love it!

[Teresa]

I don't know, Gita.  I think he's kinda sweet.  How can any woman resist a man on a hog?  This is vintage Rose.  Fave.

[Gita]

If I were Christine, I'd change the locks on the door and keep far away from that watermelon-butchering rind-scalping hog rider.