The True Story of Cooter Brown

[Jared Handley]

His words are the offspring of Bayou mushmouth and a constant, routine imbibing of alcohol that has neither started nor completed in what I can only assume has been years to possibly decades. His dialect on my New England ears provides a baneful challenge, but his gregariousness and cartoonish application of the stereotypical "coon-ass" character I've so desperately sought stay my sweating palm around my tape recorder for what has become a three hour broil on his roofless front porch.

"No-suh, see now dey says all time 'He dronk Cootah Brown,' 'Dey's dronk Cootah Brown,' but dem lil' bois runnin' rount ain' hawdly got no hay on dey cheen, talk bout Cootah like dey knowed eem. Issa dif-ronce 'tween 'lack' an' 'as,' you know, an dey ain' dronk lack no Cootah an dey ain dronk as Cootah was, boi I tell you dat!"

Cooter the Third, as he's insisted is officially his name--though he says there is no birth certificate--sets down his whittling into his lap, tosses his forehead side to side, sweat cascading on the greyed wooden arms of his rocking chair, and leans forward just long enough to lock into my eyes with either urgent sincerity or a flash of madness.

Apparently satisfied I'm following, or his spell of lunacy passing, he returns to whittling and rocking in his chair and concludes plainly, "Cootah dronk cause he ain' had no place he s'pose-a be, no place he b'long, so when you at da point you ain' got no place t'be -- when you get dronk 'nough you cin say you ain' innis worl' no mo', den you come tell me you dronk Cootah Brown."



Just a little exercise in writing dialects. If you need a translation... well, then I sucked it up. But, I'll be happy to oblige where needed.

[Brittany]

dronk :-) as a coon ass I'd say u suseeded.

[Angela]

I think your dialect writing is awfully good.  Maybe you will write another six as a backstory.

[Michael Brown]

I could hear it aloud in my head as if you had played a recording. ('cept for two tiny notes: I wanted to hear sin rather than kin, where you wrote cin, and the double d in maddness jumped out at me. Other than that...) Perfect! Very happy to see your by-line.

[FlowerChild]

This is great. Not entirely sure whether its my long experience with old men telling long drawn out stories, or just your wonderful way with dialects, but this was wonderful. A delight to the mind. 

[Robert Crisman]

"No place he b'long..." That last paragraph tells the truth.

[Gita]

Welcome back and what a re-entry.

Way I always heard it was, "drinker 'n Cooter Brown."  Least that's what they say in Hayneville Alabama, and up Hueytown way along the river. Your Aunt Beth and Step-Aunt Risa said it that way a few times.

Great to see you. Hope you'll stick around.

[Mike Handley]

No translation necessary. I can hear it. I HAVE heard it (especially the "ronce.") Mission accomplished, Jar, and glad to see you back on the site.