A Menacing Black Man

[Teresa]

Steve Harvey stated in his book Act Like A lady, Think Like A Man that any man who approaches a woman wants to sleep with her. 

 

He also stated that men cheat for many reasons, one being that they can't go without sex for longer than a minute, "He's got to try to feel better some kind of way, and so he's going to get sex from someone if he can't get it from you."

 

Regarding women choosing not to take men's last names after marriage he wrote, "We also need to know that we have your loyalty, and you show that by taking our name...we really don't care how important your dad's name or your family name is to you."

 

His opinion of interracial dating was interesting and an ugly seed to plant or feed, "If she's doing it for some kind of status, then that's a horrible reason to be married to someone from a different race."

 

Steve and his father had a heart-to-heart with a boy who wanted to date Steve's daughter, "Finally, under the pressure of the questioning, the squared shoulders and two straight-faced black men making it clear we know the game, the boy finally broke down..."

 

It is disturbing that Steve assumes the reader will recognize that "black men" are more menacing than men of another color, that color by itself can be a status symbol, that men are outrageously horny and entitled to give a woman a new name and take her body...it's just another book I wish I hadn't read. 

[Deborah Jovan Reed]

Self-esteem is the color everyone should focus on, I think

might make for a good 6S.

[Deborah Jovan Reed]

@Teresa - I've never met a black or white person either but when you talk to most of the population race is still monochromatic, they haven't upgraded to technicolor. The champagne/honey-colored black people have to prove they're black (at least if you're living in low/moderate-income setting, from my experience in the South) - if they don't eat collard greens and catfish, play spades and/or dominos, and jump the broom when they marry you're ignoring your heritage, looking down on your people...

[Teresa]

@Deborah ~ In SugarLand black and white people are both the "minority" (there's an overwhelming number of people from the most distant points on the map), so much so that black and white have become the same color...;-)...maybe champagne or honey.  Now I search the room for either of us to feel comfortable.  It's so strange to feel outnumbered, on the outs.  I guess it's good to know what that feels like.  Self-esteem is the color everyone should focus on, I think.  It's fading out in too many places and that creates hate turned both inward and outward.  We don't know what we do to each other, to ourselves.  Maya Angelou said, "we are more alike than we are unalike".  Steve Harvey is a good example of soft hate and irresponsibility.  And for the record, I've never met a black or white person -- dark chocolate and pale pink taffy at best.  All of us red-blooded.      

[Deborah Jovan Reed]

They made a movie based on the book and (took it off wiki):

Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times viewed that a major problem with the film is that it takes seriously the advice given in the book it is based upon, commenting that such an approach "might have worked as a screwball comedy or a satire, but can you believe for a moment in characters naive enough to actually live their lives following Steve Harvey's advice? The result is a tiresome exercise that circles at great length through various prefabricated stories defined by the advice each couple needs (or doesn't need)."

As to 'throwback racism' it isn't something that has ever vanished nor do I think it ever will sad to say.

In regards to mixed relationships there is still ALOT of stigma and hostility towards it, mainly portrayed in African-American novels, movies, and comedy sketches.  Look at the popular blockbusters out there - I'm talking about past as well as present - and you'd see very few hold a completely black cast (most just have a token black guy/girl usually playing a minor role or the criminal thug the white police force is out to get) and movies with a completely black cast 9 out of 10 times are in comedy, even if its a romantic comedy.

When there is romance race relation plot/sub-plot you have two non-standard dramas (a black person with a non-black person  and how society looks at it or a black person with a high-yellow/light-skinned black person and how their own society views it.)
In a relationship the non-black person stole the 'black brutha or sista' while the black-person is a 'self-hater' or 'high and mighty, too good for one's own'... and the same still goes in the opposite direction because a white friend of mine married a black man and was excommunicated by her family (save her brother and sister and later her parents who came around seeing her husband was a good successful man)... and to step outside the black/white realm alot of races feel that way... mixed Asian relationships are often frowned on.

Anyway, going to take a breath now...

[Angela]

Sorry to be a bit late.

Saw this on the shelf at B&N the other day, and assumed it was intended to be humor, what with Steve being a comic and all.

Anyway, sounds pretty non-funny.

[Stephen Torelli]

Some people actually believe their own bull and this is a fine example. You have explained it well.

[Mike Handley]

Pompous gas bag. He reminds me of the father on "Men of a Certain Age." I would suggest that you offer the impressionable girl another, more enlightening book (although, since I don't read crap that pretends to speak for all persons/genders/races/religions, I cannot offer one for your consideration). It's troublesome that she apparently thought enough of it to keep it ON the shelf.

Side Note: When I clicked through to read this, I thought it was going to be something along the lines of David Sedaris' "six to eight, angry black men."

[Jeanette Cheezum]

Thanks for sharing. I don't want  to get started on this subject.  I don't have an hour this morning to say all  I would like to on this matter. I will say though, I put Steve right up there with Russ and Glenn.

[Toby Tucker Hecht]

This guy is a total schmuck.

[bolton carley]

you always have interesting topics.