The Coach pt. 5

[Sal Moreno]

Claire pulled some strings to get Earl this coaching job; little does he know. But these kids will tear him to shreds. He’s so pale with guilt, they’ll see right through him. It’s a death sentence, is what it is. A sentence Earl gladly accepts. Today’s his first day.

[Michael Brown]

Interesting tale. I've read through the five posted so far. They don't stand alone fully, and the telling sounds a bit of a race to get through with no dialogue. You might have done better to take a cue from Robert C and put them together in one post with space between each and the next. It's a grand story coming out and I believe it would have greater impact if the parts were contiguous. It could use more scenarios among the summary. For instance, in this last part, telling us he's pale with guilt is less effective, I think, than having him say something through which we can feel his guilt with him. Still, I'm ready to read more to see where you're taking this.