Holy crap my back!  My back is killing me!  Shooting pain!  Ow!  Make it stop! …

When the building caught fire, we called Goldman.  He drove 100 miles in 40 minutes and extinguished the flames with rapid squirts of Evian.  When my wife went into labor on the Tilt-a-Whirl, I called Goldman.  He drove 90 miles in 5 minutes and delivered my daughter without stopping the ride.  He's getting married this weekend to an investment banker named Samuel.  I told him I couldn't make it - a lie - but I'm sure…

"What would you say if you were about to die alone and could only write six sentences to the world?"…

I noticed my feet were wet.  Then my feet were completely submerged!  Then I was treading water!  The boat sank!  Hours passed. …

Someone thought it was a good idea to buy an aquarium for the office. This was about a year ago, when Carolyn Paulus was still with us, before she was fired for stealing boxes and boxes of Swiss Miss. The aquarium now sits pretty close to its original home near the copier, half-filled with grayish water, directly opposite Carolyn's old desk, which is empty except for some loose paper clips and a packet of herb seeds she…

We were in that now infamous meeting with him, so we knew before anyone else.  The window shattered, and I remember Zoe laughing out loud, not about Mark being shot, just about the jolt of the noise.  (Zoe always laughs when she's nervous or scared.)…

A fire was burning near the stop sign.  "Call 911!" said Mrs. Black.  "Wait, it's fine," said Mr. Gray.  "It's under control."…

"You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair - the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed. Ready to kick ass and take names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come…

Pretty cool, don't you…

And Congratulations to everyone in the new book: 6S: Word of Mouth! All submissions in the book are presented exactly as received, so you can judge along with our panel and decide which ones are YOUR…