“No one wants a puny little banana like you,” said the fat, ripe, perfectly round tomato bully, “which is why the human broke you off the bunch she bought today.” 

“Face it, you’re a loser, a sickly, ugly yellow little waste of potassium,” the tomato continued, then laughed wickedly as the small banana cringed and wished it would stop.

It was night at the closed Beckwith’s Family Grocery Store and as was customary for the past week, the tomato bully was insulting and demeaning…

I’m trapped in an empty mayonnaise bottle with a couple dozen other fireflies, who are blinking like they’re trying to send Morse code (would that they were).  The sweaty, mouth-breathing little monster who netted us and put us in here was kind enough to poke a few holes in the metal lid so we can breath, and he has added some wilted blades of grass and a nubby stick to give a ‘natural environment’ to our…

 Claude Monet sat at his easel in his garden at Giverny, painting impressionistic images of water lilies floating in the pond before him. 

Now, most of the water lilies were just that, simple water lilies, but two of them were disguised Neptunians, observers on the planet earth, and since water was their natural element, water lilies they became.  Monet got up then, muttering to himself in French and slowly walked back up to his house and went inside. 

This allowed one of the…