They called child protective services on me when my son came to school and told them, “mommy spanks me too hard”. They blamed me in the news when he grew older and decided to shoot up his classroom, said he didn’t have any discipline at home. They institutionalized the woman who decided to drown her six children in the bathtub, one by one. So as I am sitting here with my friend who is about to get an abortion at 22 weeks…

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My son thinks that if he makes all his capital letters smaller they should be considered lowercase.  His reasoning does make sense but that’s not the way it is. My son also calls out to lost toys in hopes that they will respond to him and tell him their location. He finds the toys and says, “here you are, I knew I’d find you!” They never talk back to him and yet he doesn’t care. So when my friend tells me that her sons…

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Whenever I start painting my nails my son decides he wants a hug, so he starts climbing all over me.

His dad came into the house hearing me scream, “Caleb, now mommy has to start all over!”

He says, “sorry”, as he leaves my room with his head down and red paint on his hands, he goes into the kitchen and hugs his dad.

I walk to the front to hug my husband, we embrace, and I slowly…

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You are the most disgusting and repulsive man I know. Passing gas no matter who is around and even asking company beforehand to excuse you for your sporadic flatulence. I am still traumatized from childhood when you would stick my head in the couch cushions after you passed gas. Your nephew thinks you are the…

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“Energy flows, where attention goes”, “…

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The day that I left you, I left a piece of me right on your living room couch.

I know that we agreed that this was for the better but I just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that you had another baby on the way. Cheating is one thing but when the results of cheating lets me know that you just fucked someone raw, shows me that the relationship had to be more than a simple one night stand.

I am usually a very compassionate and forgiving person but I guess I left that part of me on… Continue

The other day you yelled at me for leaving the toilet seat up, I apologized, yet you still went on and on about selfishness, responsibilities and just plain disrespect for the fact that you had been cleaning the house for four hours. You say I never listen, but when I am quiet I am not talking enough. I’m not engaged in our conversation, I am always somewhere else mentally. You wanting me to WANT to care about color palettes is NOT going to happen but I will pretend if that makes you happy and… Continue

Everyone always cautions people about saying anything bad about babies because it ALWAYS comes back to you but some babies are just so fucking ugly! There are some babies who leave me puzzled as to what size onesie their parents buy because their head is so damn BIG. So here I am, sitting in the hospital, trying to recount all the mean comments I’ve said over the years about someone’s “ill-favored” child. I’m hoping that at the least my son will just have a huge head and not a birthmark… Continue

If I see one more “detailed oriented” statement on a resume I am going to shoot myself! They are all “detailed oriented, well organized individuals” who can’t seem to make it to work on fucking time! I am interviewing this one applicant who is “detailed oriented” and she apologizes during our interview and asks, “where is your restroom, I have been nervously drinking a lot of water today?” I point her in the right direction. The interview goes GREAT! When she leaves I head to the bathroom, only… Continue

Today I’m standing in a long line at work to throw up my snickers…again. I eat one every morning for breakfast and for a second I feel good inside, until I walk past a mirror and see my fat ass reflection and I head to the bathroom, look under the stalls for feet and then puke my brains out. I feel disgusting and people tell me that I am skinny…they are such lying bastards. I pop laxatives like tic tacs because, this snickers is coming out of me, no matter what hole it is. 3,500 calories makes… Continue

As I grabbed the wet baby and placed her in a blanket, I thought to myself, “how could I be a mother at sixteen?” No one answered, except my boyfriend, the baby’s father who told me that we had to hurry up and get rid of her. We put her in the car, of course we had no car seat and I held her and refused to look at her face because I didn’t want to remember her. She was so quiet and I knew that this was God's way of tricking me into thinking that… Continue

Fuck Beauty



The other night I lay in my bed waiting for sleep to overcome me so I could return to my dream from the previous night about my dead father. It took me awhile to get there and when I finally did, I was greeted by my father’s voice, “Hey Beauty”. He touched my face and gently kissed it as his hand began to caress my breasts. He was on top of me and all I could do was sit there and let him. My panties were still on and now wet, I open my eyes and see the door close to my… Continue