Seems like I go through years of being a certain kind of way, doing the same things the same way all the time and those habits are frequently not the best kind.  Friends or family are certainly not going to suggest I need to change--they're waiting for me to figure it out on my own, either that or they're avoiding getting crabbed at.   Then things happen, things come along this writing page, or that I stopped following petty, juvenile ranting on a music message board, having hours of my life…

Snowy morning brought on a two-hour school delay, so my son, sick of watching Nickelodeon, started channel surfing and came across the Insanity Workout---oh joy.

Though he might have two hours of bliss before school mother gets no such luxury, so while I made myself a reasonable facsimile of a woman ready to face the day, Jack stared transfixed at the infomercial.

"LOOK how RIPPED his ABS are!"

"Jack...Jack... JACK!" Huh? "That's for people who…

HOLDit, you can't write when you haven't had a shower yet, you don't even have socks on--the office floor is a mess and you have laundry and an unmade bed, and have you seen the kitchen sink--getouttaheah!

HOLDit, you can't write NOW, what with it being midnight and you gotta get up for work in the morning, right, and you'd rather read the thriller sitting dog-eared on your nightstand that you've read 8 times before which is far more fascinating than anything YOU could ever…

cassie lay out on the lawn.  she worked hard, earned her golden day, and decided to treat herself to a stretch on the lawn. never mind that it was 39 degrees--that's a heat wave in this part of town, and never mind that her skin was linen instead of fawny brown. cassie lay out on the lawn in her wonder woman underoos underwear and black fruit of the loom tank top, elbows, heels and ass in the wet grass, and flipped auburn hair about her shoulders feeling like julianne moore in a bulgari…

"Hey Nance?" Lori nudged her snoozing cousin.

"Zis our stop?" Nance said from inside her sweatshirt hood, knowing there were 3 more to go and wishing Lori would button it already.

"Not yet, so I gotta ask ya somethin." Lori waited for the usual polite reply, but took the silence (relative to being on a bus, anyway) to mean go ahead.

"Professor gave us an assignment and I thought I'd start with you first: what's the difference between utopia and dystopia?"

"Does it…

"JERKS!" I holler from behind my cubicle wall. It's become the battle cry where I work--a joke amongst people who get it-- to holler out that word when we come across the stupid, the ridiculous, the unfathomable; a way to cope with whatever we face and cannot control.  Yes, it could be an email from the boss, a lame question from the sales team, or another customer service rep that juussst doan getit... JERKS! we holler and hope nobody hears us (but secretly we do, and we…

"Mary had a wolverine, wolverine, wolverine...Mary had a wolverine with teeth as white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, wolverine was sure to go."

And every morning, boys and girls, Mary kept her head under the blankets, defying the pokes and shakes, meows and ruffs that everything makes in the morning demanding she rise and join the living. And every morning Mary said, "I will EAT the next person who tries to make me!" and she pointed to dear wolverine curled up at…

People attach themselves to the most interesting things, and I learned something new about my teenager as he mourned. I had no idea he was so attached to the primary-colored ceiling fan that's been in his room since he was born, and his white syrup tears caught me by surprise. The globe that was previously attached to the fan was in pieces all over the blue rug, and considering Jack has been downstairs under my watchful eye all morning (you know, grounded), and there is no one home now who…

You escaped the heat pressure glare, the intensity of the day that pushed your body into the ground to get away--and you survived.

One eye opens because it is night and cool moon face touches you. It is safe to move now and your body joins the senses that never slept and kept you safe.

Rise, shake, stretch--listen and choose which path to take because your belly calls and ever you will answer.

Brothers and sisters rise to their feet and note the opening eyes on rocks and…

The bride was young and without calloused, rope-burned hands, and her family had no expectation other than for her to be gone.

My groom, the Captain, did well enough, and I would not praise the blessings of a home on the New Jersey coast and all its fine things because the Lord God demands humility and sacrifice--but I wonder if He demanded the same of the whales?

I was young and he was old, but he let me climb the rigging and taught me how to shoot the sun…

The Mayan calendar speaks the truth and I bring you the word. I am privy to secret knowledge: the Dead Sea scrolls, the stolen language of the angels. Revelations, Nostradamus, the Magic 8 ball--far-seeing, all knowing, and I am here to bring the message to thee:

The world shall truly end if you recycle the milk carton in the refrigerator that has three drops in it, or the empty hand soap dispensers that have been sitting in the ladies room for five months. So shall the world…