What can YOU say in six sentences?
When the waters finally receded it was obvious that many of the townsfolk never had a chance; most of the bodies were recovered inside their homes or vehicles, or beneath whatever remained of them. The rescuers found the babbling infant nestled in a high treetop only a few feet above the high water mark. Its DNA didn't match any of the victims and no one ever came forward to claim her, so one of the firemen nicknamed her Lucky and undertook adoption proceedings.
Yesterday was the anniversary of Dennes "D" Boon's death in a van crash (no drugs or alcohol or excessive speed involved) in 1985.
No one ever offered The Minutemen a million dollar contract. D and Mike Watt were best friends in San Pedro, CA, and they just liked to play guitar together--their moms liked the idea because it kept them off the streets.
They loved Blue Oyster Cult and James Joyce and John Coltrane and Funkadelic and Iggy and the Stooges. The…Continue
Dr. Z has this awesome crib with these spectacular views of the valley and the ocean and the surrounding mountains, and he told us we could use it while he was out of town, just as long as we didn't trash the place and no one got hurt--so of course it took like twenty minutes for us to wreck everything from the kitchen to the pool, and the cops and ambulances kept getting called, and when the word finally got back to Dr. Z (the guy's contacts are fucking uncanny, I'll say that much…Continue
Where did things go awry? In the conceptual stage, everything had seemed so clear, all the pieces in place. But then the pieces took on lives of their own and now the board is in disarray. His troops will no longer obey and the commanders openly question his judgment. Perhaps the design was flawed, or the execution clumsy. Regardless, it may be time to abort and simply start over with the single-celled catalysts.
He's weak, he's boring, he's jive.
I peak, I'm scoring, I'm live.
He creeps, he scares, he fades.
I'm fleet, I spare, I'm paid.
He's passive, he rattles, he's no.
I'm massive, I battle, I'm GO.
The lady's pretty freaked out, and I guess she's got a right to be. Says her husband's gone missing, which ain't so strange in and of itself; the house is full of screaming kids, the rooms so drafty you can see your breath and this is the worst winter we've had in years, probably no kinda place to come home to. Strange part is that his car and wallet and all his clothes are still here, and the last place she claims she saw him was in the house, just a few hours ago, in the bathroom taking a…Continue
Rudolph taught us to value the contributions of those who were different from ourselves. The Grinch showed the dangers of spite and self-seclusion, while Linus dared recite the Nativity. A Christmas Story made magic out of midwestern materialism, but something tells me Jean Shepherd wasn't getting percentage points from Red Ryder. These days the kids get cross-promotions from Toys 'R' Us and Jim Carey in live-action remakes. Westboro Baptist would picket Rudolph's funeral, and Hans…Continue