Joe Gensle's Blog – August 2010 Archive (16)

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Dick, Jane, Sally & Spot: Where Are [We] Today?

We probably taught your mama or grandparents how to read in the '50s or '60s (pretty important, right?) and then got tossed aside like potato peelings, except that peelings sometimes get the chance to be mulched.



Because we're literary, we don't really move-on but we do live-on and I’m Spot, a pup of the 50s, hoping I'm barking up an empathetic pant-leg with all of this.



I got sick and tired of that little blonde bitch tugging on my ears all the time… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 26, 2010 at 8:00am — No Comments

Inmated

Randy’s smooth ride on the heavily armored bus was eerily quiet and found him consumed by the heady cocktail of two jiggers of fear, a splash of remorse, and a twist of fate, for, his life was on the rocks.



He caught a 12-year stretch for separating fools from their money by illegal internet means--fraud and grand theft--but reality’s pinch of prison didn’t hit him until that bus ride.



After two hours’ in-processing, a medical check and a 90 minute orientation, the…

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Added by Joe Gensle on August 25, 2010 at 8:30am — No Comments

Ronnie Ray's An' My Give 'n Take

My buddies have all gone tessossterstone-wacky or however you spell that hormoan over the 2010 Camaro and paid 70 bucks to rip around town in it for a day. It jumps off the line and throws ya back on the seat when ya stomp it, and it surely gets eyeball, but they agree ya just can't see out the tiny rear window worth a tinker's damn, that it's useless as socks on a rooster.



The V-8 "SS" version, the one with the rally stripes,… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 22, 2010 at 9:30am — No Comments

The Kavanagh Succession

Liam emerged from the tool shed with a simple pole and reel, holding a cup of worms which he handed down to Keegan Kavanagh, wee but proud of his six years.



The father walked his son downhill to the soft bank of the loch on the clearest and most beautiful of summer morns, settled the boy on a stump, and smiled as the lad giggled whilst putting the worm on the hook and lowering it into the shallows.…



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Added by Joe Gensle on August 21, 2010 at 7:30am — No Comments

Psst, Fellow Conservatives: What’s All the Fuss?

I was vacillating between the choice DirectTV or Dish Network and, in three calls to the two companies, reached reps in the Philippines, India, and India, respectively.



This morning, I called UPS to compliment a delivery driver’s thoughtfulness (slipping my packages over my fence) and the rep who helped me was in Guatemala.



Fellow conservatives, you know I’m not a ‘bagger, but you have to give me credit for discovering the secret location the 600,000 new jobs Pres. Obama… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 20, 2010 at 1:00pm — No Comments

Honing My Skills

When the elderly lady seated at my desk asked why I walked with a cane, I explained how I got hit by a bus when I was 5 years old, how my mother pleaded with the doctor not to amputate my leg, for, she wanted me to have two legs like other little boys and not be ridiculed for a prosthesis or stump.



She left dabbing her eyes, and the next customer who sat down asked why the woman had left my desk with misty eyes and a moist tissue.



I related that she… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 19, 2010 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Unguarded Response

"There! I got it off my chest. And I feel better."
"Jerk!" she said as she set his coffee cup down in front of him.
"There's shortcake for dessert."
She slid the dessert plate in front of him as the hand he couldn't took aim and emptied the whole can of whipped cream into his ear and up-side his head.

Added by Joe Gensle on August 19, 2010 at 8:30am — No Comments

Just Like on TV

Jobless drop-out 20-year old street-creature Tuff Guy was riding his bike, short-cutting through the mall's parking lot and not even thinking about being mischievous.



He spotted his dream car, a 'beamer screamer' BMW650i that cost somebody 90-grand, so he cross-cut the long rows, gliding over a couple to check-out the 'beamer.'



He pulled-up on the passenger side and eyed a prize in the… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 15, 2010 at 3:30pm — No Comments

Riding Out

Rain pounded-down the garden's flowers and shrubs with just the thorny rose stalks standing strongest against the lashing. In the back of the house, cold drops sped down the master bedroom's window as if walkers in a foot-race vying to reach the outer sill before puddling themselves into the eventuality of their falls to the ground



She sat on the edge of the bed peering through the window's streams, focused on nothing in… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 14, 2010 at 1:00pm — No Comments

Jeez I Love That Woman

I'm so pissed off I'm seeing red, turning blue in the face, and she's looking over at me from the kitchen, giggling like a pink-cheeked school girl.

She knows I occasionally lose my temper like a tantrum-throwing 5-year…

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Added by Joe Gensle on August 13, 2010 at 6:00am — No Comments

Ended-Up...Really?

Did you follow your head… or your feet… or your eyes?

Did you follow your heart… or the crowd?

Did you follow your faith… or your finances?

If you led, by which star or with what compass?



There is daylight and the trailheads before you,

maybe one yet to blaze,…

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Added by Joe Gensle on August 11, 2010 at 8:30am — No Comments

One Undeserved Turn

Ronnie Ray only had him this big V-8 pickup truck about 3 weeks and it was a sweet dream, too, with 20-inch custom wheels, bed liner, killer steerio, 2-toned paint, and the pride of every mother-lovin' Southern boy's accessorizin', a heavy duty winch in front, and big-ass chromed, diamond-plate step bumper on the back.



Uncle Richie kinda fudged on the financin' to get Ronnie Ray into the thing cuzza Richie's sister Earleen… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 9, 2010 at 11:00am — No Comments

A Night Sky for a Desert Sleep

From first light, the sky was dominated by thick quilts of grey clouds that never delivered on their promise of rain.



August’s skin-scorching sunshine was buffered and repelled, sneaking diminished heat around cloud banks' edges, tempering the day, offering an enjoyably noticeable respite.



It’s twenty hours later, 90 minutes into the new day, and I‘m restless with the agitation of… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 8, 2010 at 1:00am — No Comments

Life's Unwritten Rules

For more than five decades, I've heard about 'the unwritten rules.' Like, in elementary school, "It's kind of an unwritten rule that 7th and 8th graders blobbity-bleep-blope-bladda...."



In college, it was "Even though it's the student radio station, it's kind of an unwritten rule that we nibbidy-nop-blop bloo-biddy-bo...."



Uncle Sam did it to me in the service, "The unwritten rule for… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 7, 2010 at 3:00pm — No Comments

MOSQUE AT GROUND ZERO IN NEW YORK CITY

Did you react to the title?



I believe in religious freedom in the U.S.--short of human sacrifice although I'm okay with Tennessee wackos who play with venomous snakes in church. That's just plum-funny to this Kentuckian and good TV that I'd watch on TBN or ESPN, and maybe even tithe to Sony to see.



A mosque at ground zero? Did we go to Nagasaki or Hiroshima in 1959 and, on that ominous ground zero site, build Our Lady of the Mushroom Cloud or Saint… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 4, 2010 at 7:30pm — No Comments

Mob Puts Million Dollar Hit on Sheriff Arpaio

Renown (in conservative) and in some (liberal-left) circles 'notorious' Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has learned the Mexican drug cartel has put a $1 million contract on his head.



Known for enforcement actions against some of the 495,000 illegals who cross into Arizona every year and are stopped/found to be breaking other laws, to the delight of an electorate that keeps the zealous senior citizen sporting the badge, Arpaio seems nonplussed at a death… Continue

Added by Joe Gensle on August 3, 2010 at 7:00am — No Comments

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