What can YOU say in six sentences?
Added by Gita on December 29, 2010 at 6:49pm — No Comments
It was Christmas Day + three, and Stump Shiner stood at his kitchen counter, watering his Glenn Beck Bobble-Head Chia Pet.
It was a gift from his neighbor, Bootsy Sykes, along with a “real” gift of a…Continue
1. Driver Safety
"Len just up and walked out, bada bing, and Leah hasn't seen him since!"
Marti is telling me this with enormous gusto as she lifts her pancakes, one by one with a fork, to insert a spurt of ersatz maple syrup between layers.
"So, last Monday, I overheard Leah telling him 'What's all that shit you put in your coffee, powdered creamer and powdered sweetener, it's like you're drinking a cup of hot chemicals,'" (which makes me laugh because this is Marti doing…Continue
Is this what they call a fugue state? I am new to this terrain and unsure whether I am sleepwalking or have entered some parallel universe where drunk is the new sober.
It feels as if a different woman has been wearing my clothes, answering to my name and throwing empties into the trash.
I wrestle my way out of the manic silk of this dream like a diver fighting to…Continue
He was a big fat man with man-breasts, and he came chugging across the dark Winn-Dixie parking lot. He was pushing a grocery cart, even though he only had three small white plastic bags in it. When he got to his car, he threw the bags in the back seat and then pushed the cart away, as if to say, “Not my worry.”
Well, it was his worry, and I jumped out of our truck and told him so in my war voice before returning his cart to the safe corral, putting it where it wouldn’t roll into…Continue
I’m in “the stance,” drinking milk recreationally, my legs apart for balance while I tip the open half gallon and lean my head back. Glug glug, ice cold, glug, washing down a slice of just-baked devil’s food cake covered in from-scratch dark chocolate icing. Nothing like warm cake with cold milk, I always say.
I bake my cakes with real cocoa,…Continue
He's a small, unpreposessing man , with a too-large blue tie, a gleaming scalp and the stamina of a guy half his age.
Bernard Sanders, Independent U.S. Senator from Vermont, is speaking truth to power this weekend.
He doesn't think we should give tax cuts to billionaires. He delivers the facts without bombast or malice.
Even though the leaders of the Senate went home and the President of the United States was not listening and almost no one was left in the chamber,…Continue
Time spent on a plane is time suspended. Below, anything could be happening -- a family member could die or a nation could declare war -- but the passenger aloft knows none of it. There is only fluctuating pressure on the inner ear, the changing light where sun and water vapor mix beyond the plane's aluminum skin. Graham, far below, has no more mass or volume than a dust mote of unknown composition.
This is the…Continue
We're in the buffet line at the Golden Corral, where the daily special is rubbery ham made pinker-looking by the heat lamps.
The place is jam-packed with sticky surfaces, hollering kids, overeaters and seniors elbowing their way in for second helpings. Above the fray I detect tinny Christmas muzak, and my gorge starts to rise.
This place is like a prison cafeteria, only I have no shiv to silence the fat kid who is throwing peas.
"I'll wait outside," I tell my friend,"…Continue
What surprises her most about marriage is how much she likes the coziness, something that had been absent from her single life.
If you'd asked her in her twenties if she craved coziness, she would have said, “irrelevant,” and moved on to the next guy in the next bar, the one…Continue
I have let Marti convince me this is a good idea, and so she leads me through aisles of women’s clothing in a store the size of a cow pasture. I am unable to focus on any one thing because so many other things are vying for my attention, as if skirts or pants could clamor.…Continue