There I said it.  In 2 sentences and 1 title.

Okay, time to be negative!  Gotta admit I'm pleased to see Ben Affleck was snubbed last night by the Academy.  No "Best Director" nod for J.Lo's ex.  Pure jealousy on my part. …

I managed to talk my way into a job as a German translator even though I don't understand the language.   I'd been out of work for close to a year and was desperate for a paycheck, so I lied and said I could translate German into English.   "Ja," I kept saying - that was my…

We bought a fish tank and filled it with water, nothing else.  No gravel, no rocks, no fake plants or miniature divers, no fish even!  It was just a big rectangle filled with water, and we actually changed the water every day.  It took a lot of time to do that, especially the filling part.  Then we just stopped and sold the tank, because really, what we were doing was pretty stupid.  I don't know, I miss the tank, I…

They say it's lonely at the top.  I'd like to find out first hand.  I'm sick of the middle.  I don't want to work for it mind you, I just want it handed to me, by a servant in white gloves.  With big breasts and a nice ass.  I didn't ask to be born, and I'm tired of pretending.