My lovely wife, you are my light,my best friend and without a doubt the best thing that ever happened to me.

My son, I am proud of you and love you.

I want most for you to be happy and enjoy who you are, live well.

My brothers,I forgive you and hope you do as much for me.

My friends, thank you for the memories,love,support and happy times we shared.

Those who thought ill or wished evil upon me  failed because I chose to be happy rather than dwell on your…

High honors roll,student council,sports champion,king of the class, All titles I never achieved as a boy.

Mudboy here, is all that and not done.

He can be mouthy disrespectful ,dispense withering sarcasm and a twisted sense of humor at times.

Unfortunately the negatives come…

Flaming leaves of red, orange and gold upon the trees,a yellow bus full of teens wearing a riot of colors as loud as they are drops off a single 17 year old senior in a purple track suit that oddly makes her pretty green eyes and blond hair pop in the autumn sun.

A innocuous gray utility van stops just  ahead of her as she walks and a man leaps out to tase  and abduct her using cyan lightning and common yellow nylon rope.

His withered black heart uses her tan lithe young body…

A senseless death, a meaningless death are supposed to be part of a good Gods will.

How can God be good then?

A innocent child shot at school,a good family killed by a drunk driver seems to serve no purpose.

The sweet child could have grown up to a monster and the family could have turned into parents cheating, the kids addicted thieves or worse.

Taking them early allows them to still do good by inspiring others to prevent future deaths as well as stopping the…

I learned in school of the three states of matter.

Solids,  liquids and gases were the only states.

This morning I read of light, particles that travel through planets etc. and yet they are not any of those three states.

Earth, air, water and fire,the four basic Greek elements, are probably more correct because fire would be the energy state of matter.

The general response to my epiphany is "Who cares?".

I think to much.

A green yard is hosting a game with no rules.

Two nine year old boys tan and healthy play getting each other wet instead of washing the car.

footballs,nerf guns,bikes and the other detritus of youth lay scattered on the lawn to create hazards for adults.

In my youth I slogged through, shoveled and  occasionally sledded in or snowball fought for brief frigid periods with that vile joy of skiers known as packed powder.

Today my barefoot son abandons the hose to go…

Ten years, a decade ago, I was awaiting the birth of my son, weighed 180 pounds, was in good shape and had received a promotion to a job I loved.

I had recovered from an overactive thyroid that had dropped me to 130 lbs which is skeletal if your 6"4, bought a new convertible and met the wonderful woman who is now my wife.

Today I am 385 pounds, Lost my job three years ago because of liars and can not get a new one because the company says I was fired under their sexual…

Cold,alone,lost, the three kittens that live under my house must feel like this.

Yet every morning they wait at my door knowing with certainty that I will come out with a dish of food and will dart between my legs to soak in a bit of warmth before returning outside while narrowly avoiding my touch to eat the food  set down for them at my feet.

I sit in a rusty patio chair smoking my first cigarette as they gobble inches from my touch.

They run when I pat them out of love…

SSSSSK, The blade slices in a perfect, unerring, straight line separating the past from the future running along the location of taut tension.

Riffle, crunch, zip, snap, possibility becomes reality in a sharp pattern transforming future to past to possibility again.

ZZZZZZIP,ZZZZZIP, Tangents not necessary to the pattern take shape curling off to an end and paradoxically hold the pattern firmer.

"Hey your nieces baby shower is in an hour and I need your finger." my wife…

SSSSSK, The blade slices in a perfect, unerring, straight line separating the past from the future running along the location of taut tension.

Riffle, crunch, zip, snap, possibility becomes reality in a sharp pattern transforming future to past to possibility again.

ZZZZZZIP,ZZZZZIP, Tangents not necessary to the pattern take shape curling off to an end and paradoxically hold the pattern firmer.

"Hey your nieces baby shower is in an hour and I need your finger." my wife…

The little old rusty  trailer has a brand new pale green compact car size AC unit  furiously working in the Carolina heat to keep.... no one cool within its empty shell.

One of several guns fire in volley ejecting brass with load spent, mere empty shells.

A small triangular wooden box waits unfilled at home, just a empty shell. 

A sky blue box is sheltered by cloth from the Southern sun within lies my fathers body,soul fled, an empty shell.

After taps I return…

Astrophysicists are almost all  firm believers in the big bang theory.

It accounts for most of the proof we see in the universe at large and is better than disfavored theories such as stable state, expanding and contracting theories of the origins of the universe.

I have my own theory that accounts for all evidence and unifies all four theories called the Jörmungandr theory.

Using the rubber sheet gravity theory in four dimensions, we find no white holes…

I was once frequently told I was a young man with an old soul.

The tears and years have flowed and oddly enough little is seen as special in an old man with an ancient soul..

In a land where I have all power and can be equally powerless, I came upon a young woman with an old soul crying and wailing mournfully in the twilight sitting beside a path with her lovely but as yet unseen face buried in her hands.

I had no thought to do anything other than run to her hold her and…

On a Saturday of no consequence to be forseen. 32 boys aligned for gridiron battle in a meaningless game of the mighty green undefeated eagles and 10 boys, winless 49ers abandoned by the head coach two weeks prioe and most of their team mates, now with one sick had to forfeit rather than play the last game of the season.

Off to the side, the Eagles challengers in the championship to come, arrayed in black  jerseys, many still wearing their modern high impact padded plastic…

In a discussion with my fatheran odd subject came up.

My great grandmother and grandfather were from spain and portugal giving my dad a perpetual dark brown tan and jet black hair.

 I wondered aloud if this made me more "hispanic" despite my pasty white complexion than many who claim the heritage.

My father point blank said it is a lousy label meant to create a race that never existed.

When we lived in Spain the people thought of themselves as white or black…

The local mouser a Tom named Tommy in an oddly unoriginal choice by the neighborhood families eats the bit of food that I always put out for local strays with his eyes on the woods across the street.

A Oriole imitates a broken wing spiral from the power lines above to surprise a  seven inch long grasshopper with a bright yellow vee on its back into becoming the birds breakfast.

Tommy notes this activity from a dozen feet away and becomes motionless.

The bird with a wary…

The assorted insect and bird songs make a strange rising and falling concert from the ivy covered trees across the street from my new home.

The heat of the dead muggy air has cooled in local terms to the mid nineties from the triple digit temperatures that have been part of the daily assault melting fifteen pounds from my morbidly obese original weight upon arrival.

I exhale smoke from my cigarette and it joins the languid,  liquid night air to layer in a pool under the street…

Orwewll had never come close in "1984".

The CBS news early in the week as I packed reported a 15% increase in new constuction of mostly apartments as people were "choosing" the option to move to them.

The example they chose to interview was a man going from a 14,000 a month mortgage to a 4500 rent.

I never chose a life of flushing my 800 bucks a month down a toilet for no equity nor any neighbor I have chose this.

The economy was wrecked by ill educated ,minimum…

So the tavern was visted as a dreary  vagrant ghost in a dream.

The big easy became the big tough after finances prevented a trek to the deep south.

I am now moving to SC a day late and several dollars short as that has yet to improve.

My father lives, a mortgage free three bedroom home awaits, and the wife at least has a decent job prospect already responding as we take a leap of faith to prevent a certain future of  poverty if we stand pat so we have invested every…

Change you can believe in !!!

Belief that can change you.

You can change in beliefs.

In belief you can change .

Do you see broken promises, lies or universal truths in the out of context lines above?

In the mind of the beholder,semantics let you see how man ticks, or is it how a man ticks?