What can YOU say in six sentences?
"So why did the hyena cross the road?"
Johnnie Roadkill pondered that a while, moving the answer around in his mouth like a bitter apple in a heavenly slice of pie.
“If Jenna Roberts drunk dialed 911 to tell you she saw a soaking wet hyena run across the road like the devil itself was behind, if I were you, I would believe her,” he pronounced solemnly.…
ContinueAdded by Kristine_ES on April 2, 2013 at 11:00am — 15 Comments
One Of Those Days
Kelly was hunched in the bathroom stall deep breathing through the latest round of morning sickness when the door opened and the lights went out.
“Hey, I’m in here!” she hollered and the lights blipped back on.
She heard 'clip clip clip’ then familiar chicken feet appeared in the stall next to hers, twisted nails all done up in dusty pink polish, sandals just this side of work-appropriate. Then the whistling started. Kelly wanted nothing more than to run out of there, but the…
ContinueAdded by Kristine_ES on August 23, 2012 at 1:57pm — 18 Comments
Tired Treasures
I took the shady back road home with the window cranked down to let the damp July air try to keep me awake, which is probably the only reason I saw it on the side of the road. What the heck was that long shape lying half in the tiger lilies? I pulled over and walked back to the black shape, daydreams racing. Did it belong to a hitchhiker who dropped it, who would be sorry to miss this mummified guitar case where he kept his lonesome tunes? Not bothering to slide it out of the lillies, I…
ContinueAdded by Kristine_ES on July 17, 2012 at 2:30pm — 5 Comments
The Calculus of Love
He has a daughter who locked her love for him away a long time ago. Now, she wears a dozen different masks to hide her feelings, although she showed her heart just once, just briefly, that time when she was college-drunk.
They walk down a street, inches apart, in silence, and the gods are willing him -- WILLING him -- to reach over, put his arm around her, tell her a private joke, or take her hand when they cross the street, even though she's too old for that, but wouldn't it be a…
ContinueAdded by Gita on September 6, 2011 at 11:00am — 12 Comments
The den is crowded with generations of Williamses and Thurgoods, a chaos pouring in from the next room where a "nervous" Granny Williams and my deaf cousin Thelma set the long table for our overrated annual meal, "NO Thelma, knock that goddamn cat off the table!"
Grandpa Thurgood is telling the same story about hiding in the pecan tree at Jimmy Trevor's house and pinging rocks at Rita Trevor's window; Grandma smiles politely, pretends she never tires of…
ContinueAdded by Teresa on August 17, 2011 at 2:00pm — 9 Comments
Stump Shiner, Scourge of Chickens
Down at the Tool and Die, it was universally agreed that the most dangerous part of the annual Hayneville Chicken Drop was not flying the crop duster low over a field, or tossing terrified chickens out of the plane. It was the part where someone had to tie notes to the birds’ legs, each note naming a prize for the person who chased and caught that particular chicken: a new weed eater or power washer donated by the Hillandale Mall Sears; free angus burgers from Hardees; one year’s service…
ContinueAdded by Gita on April 27, 2011 at 7:30pm — 15 Comments
Well-Meant Advice (further adventures in psychiatry)
Charlene Shiner had finished telling Stump how worried she was about losing the beauty salon in the current economy and launched into a list of her other fears when he raised his hand in the "enough already" gesture.
"You worry for nothing, Char," he said.
"Well one of us has to worry," Char said, knowing that her husband was a cross-the-bridge-when-you-get-to-it driver and she was a get-the-road-and-bridge-damage-report-ahead-of-time driver.
"What…
ContinueAdded by Gita on April 12, 2011 at 9:17pm — 4 Comments
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