Snowy morning brought on a two-hour school delay, so my son, sick of watching Nickelodeon, started channel surfing and came across the Insanity Workout---oh joy.

Though he might have two hours of bliss before school mother gets no such luxury, so while I made myself a reasonable facsimile of a woman ready to face the day, Jack stared transfixed at the infomercial.

"LOOK how RIPPED his ABS are!"

"Jack...Jack... JACK!" Huh? "That's for people who…

My absolute idea of beautiful was Rachel Ward. I loved her olive skin, brown eyes, thick dark hair; her voice was the delicate tapping of fingernails on polished granite. I envied her long lean body that moved like a tiger with all the time in the world, or seemed to. To her perfection I'd compare my pale freckled skin, green eyes, and spider web wisps of reddish brown hair; my voice was too high and I was too short. Since Rachel I've embraced new…