Sometimes I read in hopes of learning how to write better, but, 300,000 books later, I am admitting that it doesn't work -- at least not for me.

If it did, I would hope to write a novel as good as Balzac's Eugenie Grandet. I would hope to write a short story with an authentic sense of place, like Ellen Gilchrist did with "The Famous Poll at Jody's Bar" in her collection, In the Land of Dreamy Dreams.

If reading could teach writing, I would be able to voice a…