We may find each other - for a while - but understand, I will not stay.

I run, I quit, I am fearful and unsure, with little patience and a squirrel inside my head running in circles when things get tough, trying, trying, trying to figure out how to fix "it".

I have learned a few things; to allow the feelings, to consider their lesson as they wash over me and I open my eyes while under…

For all the right reasons, she reached out to another life.

Reality and sustenance called to her with vengeance and light.

She fears stepping over the boundary; Will it take her back where she doesn't belong?

Slowly now she goes..baby steps on a landmine.

Knowing she is smart, capable and wise, fearing she is not.

With joy,…

Nellie sensed fear in their voices, their worn work glove faces told of foreboding.

The orphaned shell, once her farmhouse,…

All I have as a reminder of my grandmother is two pieces of white corning ware; the kind used on the stove or microwave, as it states on the bottom of each piece, complete with glass top and colorful hens all around.

I have had these pieces for about thirty eight years; given to me as a wedding gift.

This particular grandmother was a difficult personality, given to letting everyone know exactly how she felt, without…

You have no idea...how the thought of being stunned out of bed at an hour before daybreak kills my soul.

The finality of it thrusts a knife directly through me; the rude interruption, feet hitting the cold floor in the dark; poor me.

This is but one of the little nuances of unnecessary grief I have built within the walls of my existence; all of them bearing the fruit of fear.

I attribute…

Headlines tell of over one hundred people killed in a plane crash; a tale of diseased minds torturing and killing - while videotaping the deed.

Sometimes I recall a friend I watched wither at the hands of MS until she could no longer feed herself, and ultimately, that disease ripped life from her.

People perish, in spite of the fact that they excelled and smiled a lot and had great…

When we meet, I will wander into your eyes, then turn quickly away; acting coy and worldly.

That spark will catch me off-guard, so I must return to your face...those eyes, hoping they are still there for me.

When we say hello, I will struggle to utter the word..my eyes now blending into yours, finding your soul.

As we move closer into that warmth reserved just for the two of us, I hope we…

I know many of you have been wondering...where the heck is Bonnie and why haven't we heard much from her?

I understand, you miss the words of wisdom, the tell-tale stories of hurt and loss and sometimes maybe even that touch of humor.

To set your minds at ease, then, I have decided to offer the secret, so you can go on with life.

I have made the monumental decision, just lately, that I will…

There is a small cottage waiting..for me.

It is in a warm place with lots of wild flowers, and neighbors nearby.

The place is mine, for me, and it awaits the end of this particular journey, when I find it and I give it life.

This small, lovely cottage knows it's just a matter of time til we are together; and for a long while - no short visits here.

I can almost…

So that I could stop that voice - the one telling me, NO!

I needed to make our distance from each other more than a lifetime away.

There is nothing left now; the things once between us are wholly, blessedly gone.

And you have no idea...why you must turn to others.

But this is not a sad tale - by far; this is a tale of freedom and life!…

Is it possible to live a life and not know....who you are?

Is it possible to settle into being a secretary when all you ever wanted to do was teach?

Is it possible to know that being married was more important to you than breath, and so you married, again, again; only to realize that being married isn't at all what you want, or need?

Is it possible that making a life, now, after so many…