She laid her head back against the lumpy, over-used pillow, trying not to think about how many people had died before her in this very same bed, on this very same pillow, sadly gazing at these same yellowed walls.

It was getting difficult to keep her eyes open; she could feel the weight of her body slipping away, but she wasn't afraid. No, she wasn't afraid anymore.

She knew what was coming, and if the medication she was on would allow for it, she'd salivate at the thought of…

“Hey Mom, what did you decide to do with your day off from work?”

“You probably don’t really want to know (giggle, giggle).”

 …

McClardy wanted nothing material, and that is precisely what he brought back from the Vietnam War -- and what he had accumulated ever after.

If you had asked him, "Hey, Mac, what would you really like to have?" once per decade since he returned stateside (with scar tissue where his spleen should have been), he would have shrugged and said: A chance to play with Clapton at the Fillmore. 

Later it might have been, a chance to pitch a…

He puckered up his little lips and kissed me smack on the mouth, with a "mm-ah!" Then he laughed that belly laugh that only small children can make, where it comes from the bottom of their bellies, the kind of laughter that immediately makes you smile no matter what you were feeling just a moment before.

I couldn't help but laugh too, and he gave me a big toothy grin as a reward, before doing the same thing again, but this time with a "mm-ah-mama!"

It's in these rare moments of…

Mendenhall Glacier was my first glacier and as it can be driven to we got a good up close view of it. This was during the inland passage part of the trip (hop a ferry, disembark the ferry, camp somewhere, repeat).

We also drove  the 500-mile round trip dirt road to what I remember…

We took the Inland Passage north and the AlCan Highway South. Getting the van onto the ferries was interesting, to say the least! I remember one trip into the car holding area; we were directed to go up a ramp along the side to make a second level.

We took out a light fixture when the driver's side door opened! We also seemed to get there just in time.

I read Archie (and crew) comic books over and over and also learned how to draw a face from the side.

The folks had purchased another new car that year (the 1966 Mustang came the year before), that being a Dodge Sportsman van, Desert Turquoise was its color.

My Aunt Helen and her two boys, 17 year-old Jon and to turn 12 year-old Jeff, Mom, brother Mitch who turned 11 and me. who was almost 10, ptacked up the van with every imaginable camping device…

Because she was watching for it she had seen his eyes slide to look beyond her, had seen the faintest gleam of disappointment when he realised she was alone.  

His smile for her had been genuine enough, admiring and delighted to see her, but he obviously had sent a similar postcard to her sister-in-law, unaware that she was…

The house guests have all gone, their crap along with them, yet the feeling that my time is not my own remains to haunt me. The parents-in-law have kindly offered to buy the iPad I've been wanting as a Christmas gift, including the detachable keyboard to make it easier for me to do my writing, which I'd been hoping to catch up on during our family Christmas at the beach (Galveston, TX).

But, alas, what follows, but 7 back and forth emails between my M.I.L. and S.I.L. about…

Ten minutes after my tiny toddler monster had gone down for his nap, and only after the dishes were in the dishwasher and the towels were in the dryer, I sat myself down on the couch to write. I powered up the laptop, got my glass of water and waited for the blissful surrender of losing myself in my words.

For weeks we had played host to my family during the aftermath of the storm, and then just 5 short days later, we were now playing host yet again to my parents-in-law. I…

On Sunday they said, "You'd better brace for this storm!" And we listened, and bought cases of bottled water, cans of soup and battened down our hatches, but how can you fully prepare for life without power, without heat, without gas, and not knowing when any of these will be restored?

But amidst the insanity, the devestation and loss, a brighter side of humanity shines through, little glimmers of hope that "all is not lost" and "We will rebuild!" In times like these, we remember that…

"My mother said what to you?!" He had chosen, wisely, to withhold her latest inappropriate 'woe is me' comment until we'd gotten back home, far away from the home of the crazy people I sometimes referred to as my parents.

"She said that she was exhausted from all the wedding stuff and that she couldn't wait until Saturday…

"You're so happy," she said.

I'm happy when the demons leave, at 2 a.m., when my mind is so exhausted from going 94 miles an hour with grocery lists and budgets and Chapter 14 of the unwritten novel.

I'm happy when the tears are for Hallmark commercials instead of mountains of laundry and chipped nail polish.

I'm happy when the temperature is under 112 but above 74.

I'm happy when there's enough Diet Coke in the fridge and ice cubes in…

It's 3pm on this lovely Monday afternoon, and what have I done all morning? I've planned her wedding.

The wedding that is in, exactly, 19 days, and that we were given, exactly, 45 days to plan.

Why, you might ask, would one give only 45 days to plan a wedding, well, it's because that's what my sisters do, plan last minute shit that wouldn't get done if I didn't throw in my time to "make it happen".

Why, you might ask, would I give up that precious free time that I get so…

The waves lapped at my feet and the sun reinvigorated my soul as it seeped into my skin.

I so desperately loved the ocean; it made me feel alive in a way that not much else could these days. I breathed in deeply, enjoying the warm breeze kissing my skin. I listened to the waves thrash far out into the sea, and sent up a silent prayer to be reincarnated as a starfish in my next life.

Suddenly, my peace turned to chaos and lightning illuminated the sky, as I was unmercifully…

I remember, having woken in the night and gone downstairs to interrupt an evening meal, the hardness of my mother’s face as she said, in front of my grandparents, my aunt and my father ‘Why should I cuddle you?   You said you didn’t love me anymore.’*

I remember the surprised delight, …

My uncle Goode, the Chicago king, stood downtown in a huge crowd, awaiting coronation or notice; being four months into his reign as the keeper of all knowledge known to man, right down to –for five bucks- guessing what color socks unsuspecting Gucci business men sported inside their wingtips.

He hustled, played craps, poker, always looking for game,  gone for days, his word was like candy; easy to swallow, but hard to get him to keep.

 “That man can pin spit to a…

As soon as the curveball left my hand, I knew it was over.  Even before the first twinge of discomfort registered in my shoulder, I knew that something about my delivery was abnormal.  The trainer must have known, too; he bolted toward the mound, tripping and nearly falling on the dugout steps.  He massaged the shoulder and arm that paid for two kids’ private school tuition, and the jolt of pain gave way to numbness. I looked into the stands and saw my wife in her usual seat – third row up,…