Jenene beckoned for him to follow her outside onto the porch, not wanting their daughter to hear.

“Why are you here,” she asked.

“To ask if you’d give me another chance, a fresh start.”

She turned away “Carlo that won’t work anymore,” as she disappeared behind the door.

He banged and shouted, “You mark my words I’ll get you back, Bitch.”

She called 911 and put her gun under her pillow.

 

 

 

Sonny, the boy, transformed into a traveling ventriloquist, away from boyhood abuse, beatings, particularly on and around the head terrorized and traumatized his thought process so he could think of little else other than what blows or humiliating punishments were to descend upon him for no reasons other than his existence, the child of another woman, deceased. 

Five years of age, two years after the death of his mother, a particular transformation, an enchantment, began to…

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He named the squalling baby Jedediah, left the room where his third wife had labored, and spent the night roughly impregnating his fifth wife, whose body was fresh and cunny was still tight.

If a woman didn’t keep herself up to his standards, he would strike her face hard enough to break a cheekbone. If she let herself go a second time – even in childbirth he insisted on upswept hair and sweet breath – he would break…

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The deck was stacked against my dad. His mom, nicknamed by us grandkids, "Grandma Ooobatz," demoralized and beat her kids when she wasn't busy shoplifting from the local grocery or lifting tchotchke from the homes of poor Italian immigrants in the neighborhood. So Dad's start as a delinquent and eventual decline into madness should not have been a surprise to any of us. Everyone says they have crazy families. If that's true, we need to come…

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It has been so many years since I lived with a bully, an abuser really, and I find myself forgetting, until I remember that is.



I lived in a regular state of anxiety and inner turmoil, that was normal for me, the constant presence of that sickening feeling in my belly, always there.



It's no shocker I chose that life, that man, growing up the way I did, anxiety and fear were common place, I learned early on, and continued the… Continue

She was still sore and frazzled from the night before, he'd degraded her in front of the household, leaving her standing dumb and motionless as he went to every room in the house, gathered up all the dirty laundry and bed linens, and dumped them on the floor.

He reinforced his demands and accusations by hissing in her face with reminders of her of how stupid she was, and yelling loudly how fucking worthless she was, demanding "can't you fucking do anything you stupid bitch?"…

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He used to come home drunk, I'd wake up to him choking me, while I had a sleeping baby in my arms.

When I stopped being afraid of him, he found a way to hurt me, and he hasn't stopped since.

He goes for our daughter, preying on her needs, preying on her desire, preying on her innocence.

He stalks and smiles, threatens and buys, pushes and takes, snears and laughs, ignores and sufficates.

He chews her up and spits her out every time,…

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"It's happening again", she thought to herself.

Waiting, again - Waiting for him to keep his word, he said he would this time.

Standing out there, alone, again, the words form in her mind, "You sonofa...!"

"Perfect!", she exclaims to no one, as the rain descends on her mood.

Her watch tells her it's too late; She is thrown away.…

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“The trouble with you,” he sneered, as he ran his finger along the door-top and flicked an imaginary speck of dust into the sterile dustbin, “is that you are slapdash with the housework.”“The trouble with you,” she thought, as she gnashed her teeth, her blood seething, “is that you’ve got it coming to you, and you don’t even realise it.”Each day, he criticised something in order to undermine her self-esteem; her hair, her clothes; her…

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Sonny stepped into the hallway of luminous light of their home and says in a singsong voice, " I love you, Daddy. "

She wore a grease-stained shirt--floor-length and white as a nun's habit-- she appeared weathered, frail but still, bright as an angel's halo.

He nods at Sonny's confession, folding back the fly of his pants; the belt taps her heart and chimes, " You love me most of all, baby girl. Yes, you do. Now, show Daddy just how much you love him. I'll show…

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The two of them, a team of conflict and strife; But together in their haunting.

It was a windy day, to be sure, and as if on trial, she is called "a witch" by someone who should love her instead.

He seems called to duty, chopping at her hair; As if that will make her less scary-looking when it's windy.

The lurker stands back as far as the wall will allow, slightly grinning at the…

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He was an ex-monk who fondly explained “that way of life did not work out for me,” to the Catholic and Protestant group that raised funds for a boys home and hired him to run it; and I recorded that same statement as part of a twenty minute documentary about care for a number of the Travelling Community boys, who as imbibers of glue fumes were regarded as “disruptive elements” among the shop keepers in the centre of Dublin.

Three years later, in a second TV current…

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Andy was one of my best friends, he was a beautiful full-blood Indian with strong white teeth, full lips, a killer smile, and a head full of long, straight black hair; he was so good looking he was almost pretty. We grew up in a shabby neighborhood together, he lived in a rundown apartment complex call the,Trojan Arms, on the bottom floor; I lived in the little white house with the brick chimney across the street.



When things got real bad, meaning mom and her array of friends were… Continue

I am very hard and she is still soft with childhood and so she is a better world to me.

She's great at keeping secrets and I trust her.

" This is a manifestation of love, our love, " I say to her as she perches on my thigh, her shoes swinging over the floor.

" I promise I won't tell--cross my heart and hope to die."

Our secrets could dismantle lives with their shame and violence.

" Yes and I know you won't, baby girl -- No would understand.…

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"Eenie, meenie, minie, moe" a six year old Treena says in a sing song voice as she pats each puppy's head, "catch a tiger by his toe" the little girl pauses, hand hovering over the chubby black pup with white spots, trying to decide which one it will be.



"And you...are...not...it", Treena's hand taps the little brown runt with a tone of punishment in her voice, trying to sound grown up.



"I'm sorry, but you are an ugly puppy, you have to go into the box" as she separates the… Continue

Willowy punishment I’m forced to prepare from the swamps outside to make a lattice work from my baby flesh as I lay staked to the bed to remove any chance of escape from my step-father’s entertainment which is always left open to the public eye of the family.



My stomach is as empty as my mind as I count the blows - a mathematical education at the tender age of five: Whi-tsch, “Don’t”; Whi-tsch, “Lemme”;Whi-tsch, “Hear”; Whi-tsch, “You”; Whi-tsch, “Cry”; Whi-tsch, “Again”; Whi-tsch,… Continue

Cry Baby cry; eat a mud pie; tell yo’ momma you gonna die, the taunts and peals of laughter from her step-father and his daughters – hard to tell how long ago when you’re focused on keeping your balance along with your consciousness - echo unending as Lora remains in a stress position on top of the AC vent in the living room shaking not from fear but from the icy cold air that makes her wet clothes, the mud on her face and in her hair, harden attaching… Continue