April 2010 Blog Posts (504)

Earth Girls Are Easy





What was that", he whispered.



"It might have been a zombie" he continued, as the campfire began to fade.



"There's no such thing as zombies" she scoffed nervously, from the far side of the fire.



"Maybe so, but we should still have a plan. Head shots are the bes..."



Nothing further was needed as she snuggled into the safety of his arms.



(Even though I said it in five, I also said nothing further was…
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Added by keithcancook on April 30, 2010 at 11:00pm — 1 Comment

Value For Value

Roanne, just out of jail, went to cop, i.e., she went to beg fat little Freddy to front her once more.
She'd have to fuck him of course, but well, maybe he'd wait until after this time.
Most likely not.
Whatever, you do what you have to: No Hope Without Dope.
Freddy fucked her and only then fixed her up with the eighth that she'd begged for, in his mind a straight-across trade.
His ethic: value for value, as long as he set the value...

Added by Robert Crisman on April 30, 2010 at 6:55pm — 2 Comments

Clee Carson

I may not like the day until it's over. I lied for a living, but I was very forthright about it. Lots of people do the same, but lie about their lying, even and often especially to themselves. I'd actually developed an entire personality to facilitate the falsity. That is what show business calls "professionalism." Moving is what I keep for myself, and what I give is everything else.

Added by David Brown on April 30, 2010 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Here is This.

People who drive 1988 Toyota Corollas are highlanders. They drive and sense each other, nod, and soon kill one another. They kill one another for necessary and spare parts or other mechanical matters... this is their quickening.



Indiana is the Crossroads of America, so called for so long by so many because of the 1849 Gold Rush to California, and this is when the Vonnegut family made its money in storage facilities which afforded in some way Kurt making me what I love so much. I think… Continue

Added by David Brown on April 30, 2010 at 5:30pm — 1 Comment

Surcease From Sorrow

Roanne was nearing the end of her road: tricking and chiva had chewed her right up, she needed a little surcease from sorrow, and so she called Donny, the guy who'd slurp the shit off her shoes for the chance to get next.

He came and got her and--Jesus!--he'd never seen her like this and he was aghast and he showed it, try as he might to mask it away.

But she caught the flash and it got to her too; the… Continue

Added by Robert Crisman on April 30, 2010 at 11:32am — 1 Comment

Romantic Weekend #1

Paul and Sandy have been dating for three months, and this is their first weekend away together; the relationship is still in the groove: both parties still on their best behavior, teeth brushed and flossed, sex interesting and creative - well constructed narratives of their respective pasts.

Paul loves Sandy's hair, her long legs and her tits like perfect champagne glasses, and Sandy loves Paul's humor, his intellect, the way he looks at her when they make love, but as they…

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Added by shauna mcclure on April 30, 2010 at 11:30am — 13 Comments

A Language Olive Knows Little of (a jimmysong)

“¡Hola!” says the dark-eyed boy who’s arrived from the other side of the sandbox. “Say hello to your new friend, Jimmy,” says Olive. Jimmy hides behind a hand, or maybe it’s a wave. Olive wonders who would leave so young a boy—taller than Jimmy but Jimmy is tiny—to his own care? Although the rest of the big sandbox is empty, the dark-eyed boy chooses to sit between Olive and Jimmy. If he reached out now he could touch either the tall, skinny woman or the red-headed kid: instead he speaks, a few… Continue

Added by Jim Eigo on April 30, 2010 at 10:40am — 2 Comments

4: Bermuda Triangle claims another victim: conclusion

Psychiatrist Ivanovo was forensically meticulous as his statement to the Dublin High Court shows in the way he pursued the cause of Muldoon’s dementia and reached a disturbing conclusion, passing it on to the police who followed the trail back to a neo-colonial villa in the Bermudas on Paradise Isle, where Patricia McCarthy and her lover resided.

Neighbors identified Muldoon from pictures, alias Patrick Doherty and, just as Ivanovo suggested there might be, on a shelf in a…

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Added by Peter McNiff on April 30, 2010 at 9:30am — 3 Comments

The needles at my feet, the forest and the trees, the cabin that I built for me.

I'd build a house for your voice to haunt if only I believed in ghosts. You're not a specter , but i hear your murmuring voices in my walls. I enjoy you much like loving learning language or architecture and constructing songs, pyramids, and gardens undiscovered. If you were a verse, I could sing you in the streets all from memory, but instead you are a secret wrapped in my lips and kept for myself. I speak you solely in the wild surrounded by animals like me. "In the pines, in the pines, where… Continue

Added by David Brown on April 30, 2010 at 8:30am — 10 Comments

Mad

Angry and hating.
Pissed off and seeking vengeance.
Simmering obscenities just beneath the surface.
Choking on the guttural screams caught in my throat.
Hot bubbling rage threatens to spill over in my chest.
Crimson tinted sight blurs the difference between those who incensed my fury and those who are unlucky enough to get in my way.

Added by Rachel Winter on April 30, 2010 at 1:41am — 4 Comments

Carrion Birds

Donned in bronze polished I stand on this heat-hazed shimmering plains. Greek helm with red horsehair plummage covers the golden hewed hair of mine. Strapped to my left arm is shield round while in my right I hold the twelve foot spear Alexander made famous in his march against the Persians. To the right of me five hundred men in close formation, shields up and spears leveled. Behind me, ten ranks deep, another five thousand.

On the far left flank I see the flowing…

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Added by B.R.Stateham on April 29, 2010 at 11:30pm — No Comments

The Goldman Sachs perps will walk

The New York Times sets it up just like a bad Law and Order episode. We’ve all seen these TV "true" crime shows, where the victorious police arrest the perpetrator of some foul deed and then turn him over to the prosecution, as we wait with baited breath for the…

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Added by Tom Barnard on April 29, 2010 at 10:30pm — 1 Comment

Luxury Bathroom Suite

Arlene's Kohler tub is extra deep, sparkling white, and outfitted with eight spectacular massage jets. Her towels are made from majestic white cotton of exotic origin, and she has a matching monogrammed bathrobe. On the day before her regularly scheduled manicure and pedicure, she treats herself to a long soak. Fragrant candles, spa-rainforest music, gels, scrubs, and tender sponges wait nearby. It is so quiet, she thinks, that she could fall and break her neck without disturbing anyone.…

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Added by Angela on April 29, 2010 at 10:30pm — 6 Comments

Let the Little Birdy Sing

"Let the little birdy sing her song, or listen to her wailing from the grief." My little daughter read that in a poem once, and now she sings it to sweep up any little broken shard of silence she leaves lying around. And oh, does she sing it. God, her voice is something terrible, but I just let her keep on singing. It gives her something to do, keeps her from asking about…

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Added by J.L. McGrael on April 29, 2010 at 9:30pm — 6 Comments

Too Quiet

The room I'm in is quiet for once. A girl swings to and fro in the back yard. A boy upstairs embraces Thomas the Train in his sleep. A man lifts weights in a back room. A dog sleeps by the window.

Their absent sound is like one hand clapping.

Added by Teresa on April 29, 2010 at 6:30pm — 6 Comments

A First for Me

I'm fortunate to have a list published on McSweeney's today.

Added by Adam Purple on April 29, 2010 at 6:30pm — 3 Comments

So, Umm, Yeah.

So, umm, whatever happens to those in-between moments? You know, those moments where nothing really happens, and that we all forget the moment they pass? Do they cease to exist because we forget them? Do they even really exist in the first place? Well, I know they exist in the first place, 'cause I'm in one right now. I'm just wondering if this little moment in which I'm…

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Added by J.L. McGrael on April 29, 2010 at 6:00pm — 3 Comments

Imitating Life

Writers write stories with a central theme, plot, twist and irony. They write characters who think, feel, dream, grow and die. They write symbols, connections and tie endings to beginnings along a believable resonating arc. They write conflict to achieve momentum and plot: man vs. man, nature, society or himself. The writer's work imitates life.

Real life ignores foreshadowing.

Added by Teresa on April 29, 2010 at 5:30pm — 6 Comments

Letting Go

Step 1: Walk in and lay down the law-short, simple, to the point: I'm a hard-assed teacher, and I have the highest expectations for you, so get used to it!

Step 2: Look them in the eye, hold them to those standards, watch them flounder a bit at first.

Step 3: Hold steady and be consistent while they get their minds wrapped around the fact that rules change for no one here.

Step 4: Begin to slowly raise the bar while you watch them rise to the…

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Added by Michelle Davis on April 29, 2010 at 5:02pm — 5 Comments

I know, I'm stupid, ruled by fear

Swine ’flu from Mexico they said
--and the world and I panicked.
This is it they said, the big one
prepare to meet thy maker.
All forgotten now that the
drug companies have made their coin.
Sure, ’flu killed a few unfortunates
nailed tourism to the cross in Mexico
while worldwide each year
one point two million people
suffer death by automobile and
fifty million others…
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Added by Peter McNiff on April 29, 2010 at 4:00pm — 7 Comments

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