February 2009 Blog Posts (603)

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Rake

When we moved to the new house in the new city, a semi-custom home, Mom got to choose the carpeting: cream-colored shag, a 2-inch-deep pile, she even bought a carpet rake. So trendy and lucky, we were a family to be envied! Our pool was always filled with new friends: summer-browned children shrieking and splashing, oblivious to anything beyond one long, hot, freedom-filled day after another. On a humid, sleepless night when Dad was on a business trip in the city we had just moved from, a trip… Continue

Added by L A Wilson on February 28, 2009 at 7:39pm — 6 Comments

My Husband

Channeling Ghandi in the pot of pigs feet.

Sweet Jesus I praise your long locks.

I offer my soul and heart to the world.

Bless the children and commence in your study.

Conversing with Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

While smoking peyote with Carlos Castaneda.

Added by Suzanne on February 28, 2009 at 5:04pm — 4 Comments

Poodle Steaks?

I'm telling you, I just couldn’t understand why Stanley didn’t contract scurvy? Stanley, Lola’s irksome, jet black, French miniature poodle, who thought himself to be Napoleon Bonaparte, the leader of a European empire, would never eat fruit; no peaches, apples, nectarines, kiwis, bananas, oranges, or tomatoes-- the latter are technically classified by science as a fruit, by the way. Eighteenth century pirates didn’t eat fruit either, not while on the high seas, and as a result, they contracted… Continue

Added by Brad Rose on February 28, 2009 at 3:00pm — 2 Comments

Below the Underneath

Most every day, in the mornings especially, Parker liked to hide from himself. Without a word, he’d head off to below the underneath. He could lose himself there in dryer lint, empty pockets and bagatelles that made him laugh. His heart was never cold there and he never had to blink. Below, below, below, below. Below the underneath........

Added by Michael Solender on February 28, 2009 at 2:12pm — 4 Comments

Illusionary Mechanics

How your eyes have Whitened with moist wisdom. Age has forgotten the truths whispered by your once enlarged retinas. With the protective layers down illusionary mechanics have set in. To touch your skin would be like death of the soul that has passed. I will bury it and let it morph into the cocoon that has cracked and the precipitation will become the puddle placed at the door. Welcoming you home for the Sabbath.

Added by Suzanne on February 28, 2009 at 1:46pm — 2 Comments

Calvin (Olive's Friend)

Calvin was the type of guy, who could make a woman run out of a bar screaming as if it were on fire - that's the effect he had on me anyway-until tonight.



He busted through the front door of the Gathering Place like he was the hottest thing this side of Hell; hair slicked back, wearing too much cologne - he sauntered towards the empty stool beside me.



I gave my girlfriend Joanne the "oh shit" look and took a big gulp of my martini-there's not enough Tequila in the world to… Continue

Added by Kathleen Gilbert on February 28, 2009 at 12:07pm — 5 Comments

Suicide Note

I was writing my suicide note and my pen went belly up on me, I was pretty sure it was the only black pen left in the house and how can you have a suicide note that's not in black? A bottle of Early Times was between my legs nearly half empty, It was left behind by the people that rented the place before me.



The Golden Girls was on the television, It was the episode where Blanche's husband comes back from the dead and Dorthy was dating Sonny Bono and Lyle Waggoner, It made me think… Continue

Added by Jay Holmes on February 28, 2009 at 11:55am — 7 Comments

The Food Pyramid

I don’t understand why my doctor keeps criticizing my diet -- he’s not complaining about my weight which remains an acceptable 118 pounds – no, he’s nattering on about something called the “Food Pyramid” like it was the Holy Grail of Medicine. I checked it out.

Fruits: all that syrup on my IHOP breakfast of Double Blueberry Pancakes (four buttermilk pancakes filled with blueberries, topped with warm blueberry compote and whipped topping) must count as 4 servings of fruit.

Veggies: I… Continue

Added by Tiger on February 28, 2009 at 11:48am — 8 Comments

At the Museum

I have left the dinosaurs and prehistoric reptiles, amphibians, and mammals, and I am in a hall of glass-encased preserved creatures--assorted cats, apes, and grazers. Most look angry, snarling, ready to lunge or bite; their eyes are wide, black, sharp, and watching. Did that lion move? Is that rhino watching me? Even a platypus, a hero in a TV show, is angry, even scary, so not heroic. Friends at last---badgers, raccoons, skunks, martens, opossums, even polecats,looking like they only want to… Continue

Added by Carolyn on February 28, 2009 at 11:23am — 2 Comments

When You Have a Stinky Dog

Chibi peed on Avalanche’s head. My first thought was that of a fussy girl: “No! Don’t do that! That’s gross!” Time and again Chibi would lift his leg and Av would come a running because the boys had spots to mark and no silly girl was going to stop that. I got it. No longer mortified, I just hit them with a tad of Febreeze upon returning to the house. Now some are telling me that Febreeze is irritating for the dogs and I think it’s not nearly as irritating as a stinky dog without a… Continue

Added by Olive Rosehips on February 28, 2009 at 10:00am — 3 Comments

Zombie Day

After my breakfast of cold spaghetti leftovers and two glasses of chocolate milk, I lounged about the house again, wearing my usual outfit, striped boxer shorts and unseasonably warm wool socks. Around noon, just after I returned from the back yard, where I had watered the red dirt and looked for signs of any remaining plant life, I noticed that my socks didn’t match; one blue, one gray. That really pissed me off---I hate it when matching socks, don’t match. Otherwise, the day went pretty well,… Continue

Added by Brad Rose on February 28, 2009 at 9:55am — 2 Comments

Concrete

I keep remembering that time we drove the beach in the mid of winter to watch the sunrise. I think we both knew it was over then, but those moments, when it was just us and the seagulls, they let us keep pretending. I want to tell you I'm sorry, but I'm not sure it's true. Instead, I tell you about the weather here, and my new t-shirt. Because if I let you go, I'm afraid the memories will fall away as well, like those grains of sand I so casually shook from my hair. But I guess we both know,… Continue

Added by murmuring on February 28, 2009 at 9:17am — 3 Comments

DRAWING BLOOD

Dr. Frederic Wertham I think his name was, but that was a long time ago, nearly sixty years now, and though I may not have his surname spelled correctly, there was only one Dr. Fred W. back when I was a kid in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.



Carmine, Junior, Vinnie, and I collected Tales from the Crypt horror comic books which we kept in cardboard boxes in our closets where they remained piled issue upon issue, untouched, unread, until school let out for vacations at Christmas, Easter, and… Continue

Added by Salvatore Buttaci on February 28, 2009 at 9:00am — 5 Comments

Two Bits...

Marty 'Suds' McCaskill was sent up in '87 for making bunk quarters outta the slugs from electrical boxes, gathered up while working days running a wheelbarrow for K.C. Construction. The bulk of his bit has been spent out in Cibola County, where the painted cinderblocks have turned a dull yellow and the stairwells stink of broken men something god-awful. This is Federal time we're talking, now—no good time, and no goddamn breaks—you do every day they give you. In his last letter he said he… Continue

Added by Hosh on February 28, 2009 at 8:40am — 4 Comments

That Final Fall

She was crying, and from a distance her wails sounded like eerie music. The sound of it made you imagine shattered pools and almost precipices, and hanging dangerously close to the edge.



She lived on the edge - anyone who knew her could tell you that.



Wild, she was - a crazy suburban mix of everything, always slowly slipping closer to the brink. She reached that brink often, and then there would be tears and tantrums and disappearances.



But she would always come… Continue

Added by LillyGirl on February 28, 2009 at 3:34am — 10 Comments

Im different today.

Im different today,
I feel I have no head.
Dont mean having no head at all,
but its a new head I never knew before.
May it caused from an 'relation-cut off' in yesterday.
We may replaced our heads,or at least part of our heads.
mmm. It tastes strange.

Added by masood on February 28, 2009 at 3:30am — 5 Comments

Can I have this dance?

I began babysitting at age thirteen with six children of a divorcee who lived a block away from our house.

Marge gave clear instructions not to give out any information to where or who she was with even if was

her love of five years, Larry.



Late one night Larry showed up feeling pretty drunk and wanting to know where Marge was and wasn't about to leave the house until she came home.



He loved country music and had the radio on pretty loud after the kids were all… Continue

Added by ROBERTA on February 28, 2009 at 1:33am — No Comments

The Lad Was Being a Pill

I took quiet comfort in that well known wish. It seemed the perfect comfort at times of parental frustration. The lad was being a pill. I looked forward to him having a kid just like himself. I felt certain that it would make him understand the extra-curricular trouble he put me through. Then I had a thought hit me like a bolt of lightning from a can of whup ass: that would mean I will have ingrate grandchildren! I’m suddenly reinvigorated about helping him adjust.…







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Added by Olive Rosehips on February 28, 2009 at 1:30am — No Comments

Best night ever

The best night ever is when you’re alone in your apartment, sipping really cheap wine and stalking acquaintances of people you know on social networking sites, looking for a snippet of their lives to take over and keep for your own as entertainment. Did I mention this is happening during a Friday night in the last months of your college career? You’re not unattractive and you’re actually quite charming when you’ve had the right amount of pretty good wine, which is somewhere in between not… Continue

Added by EE Kay on February 27, 2009 at 11:12pm — 1 Comment

Broken Toys

I found a plastic army man lying face down in my front yard with one of his arms missing. Things didn't quite turn out like he expected I'm sure. I picked him up, brushed him off and set him somewhere where my son could no longer torment him.

Now the pain killers have burrowed large holes in his brain. Every morning scotch and gin, gin and scotch. It takes a cigarette three and a half minutes to burn to it's end.

Added by Jay Holmes on February 27, 2009 at 9:49pm — 3 Comments

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