They called child protective services on me when my son came to school and told them, “mommy spanks me too hard”. They blamed me in the news when he grew older and decided to shoot up his classroom, said he didn’t have any discipline at home. They institutionalized the woman who decided to drown her six children in the bathtub, one by one. So as I am sitting here with my friend who is about to get an abortion at 22 weeks…

My son thinks that if he makes all his capital letters smaller they should be considered lowercase.  His reasoning does make sense but that’s not the way it is. My son also calls out to lost toys in hopes that they will respond to him and tell him their location. He finds the toys and says, “here you are, I knew I’d find you!” They never talk back to him and yet he doesn’t care. So when my friend tells me that her sons…

Whenever I start painting my nails my son decides he wants a hug, so he starts climbing all over me.

His dad came into the house hearing me scream, “Caleb, now mommy has to start all over!”

He says, “sorry”, as he leaves my room with his head down and red paint on his hands, he goes into the kitchen and hugs his dad.

I walk to the front to hug my husband, we embrace, and I slowly…

You are the most disgusting and repulsive man I know. Passing gas no matter who is around and even asking company beforehand to excuse you for your sporadic flatulence. I am still traumatized from childhood when you would stick my head in the couch cushions after you passed gas. Your nephew thinks you are the…