in words.

It seems when I get one step ahead, I can't help but take two or three back.

This is disheartening.. I'm struggling with the idea of facing reality and welcoming its pains along with its joys, or reverting deeply into myself and cutting out the world so as to keep it at bay. Its devouring teeth won't leave me alone.

One of the only things that relieves me is immersing myself in another person's life. Be it the life of a fictitious book character, of a friend in dire need of a listening ear, or… Continue

Oh, in spite of all the depressing writing I am doing well. I'm calling this month Octoberquest (clever term, sadly not my own but lended by a friend) in honor of my newest call to action. A call made by myself, to myself to get UP in the morning! To watch the sunrise, to laugh, to smile, to ride the city bus, to read many books, to hand write instead of typing, to do things that make me happy.

Yesterday, I ate chowder and watched the rain. Something that may have made me cry a couple weeks ago… Continue

This was originally a big chunk, but I kinda like it like this better. I've never written poetry or anything, but I guess breaking it up like this makes me feel like a poet. Or something fanciful like that.

Thanks.

There are all these things wrong with me now;
they were probably there before,
but you made them harder to see or perhaps just easier to deal with,
you blinded me in the happiest of ways; thanks.

The list could really go on for a while,
but here I’ll name just a few:
I spend… Continue

Think, think, THINK. You are strong, breathe in, exhale as well and remember a time when you needed no one. That should be no different now, I believe you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and there is so much more behind those red eyes and that tear-streaked face. If you concentrate hard enough, even though you don't recognize it now, you'll see the good in yourself; you'll hear those steady, rhythmic heartbeats and know you're still whole. You will, that's a promise that someone o… Continue

In just the nick of time you pull me back together. I reach for you eagerly, betraying my every reliable sense and listening only to quivering, vulnerable desire and the hurried palpitations of my heart. This is simple, there is no question. Endlessly I will allow you to help me to my feet, only to laugh as I trip and fall; occasionally you'll push me yourself. I need you, I'll always forgive you. Please, just don't expect me to help you up too.