write badly well

[quin browne]

sometimes, you see a webpage that just works.

today, i found one....how to write badly well.



have a look, and perhaps we can see how we can write using these guidelines... writing badly can be fun.




one example:

Always use a thesaurus


She manipulated the garment in a cogitative mode.
‘Hmm,’ she vocalised. ‘This attire is verifiably marvellous. What is it constituted from?’
‘From the most meritorious velveteen,’ defined her interlocutor, simpering coincidentally.
‘Is it?’ iterated the party of the first part. ‘That’s felicitous.’
‘Additionally, this specified object has the property of being subdivided in terms of its defining mercantile characteristic, and can be taken possession of for the diminutive quantity of merely a half-dozen currency units,’ the retail employee informed.
‘Exoneration?’ supplicated the protagonist appropriately. The commercial tertiary sector worker eyeballed her perspicaciously.
‘I said it’s five ninety-nine. Do you want it or not?’

[Robert McEvily]

Meritorious!

[Bob Clay]

I'm discomnobulated. (hah ! ... find that in yer thesaurus...)

[Arthur Dubrul Daniels]

thanks quin......... I will be passing this on to a Community College English Prof friend of mine whose students would see nothing wrong with the examples.

Arthur

[alisa rynay haller]

it's a good thing we're friends or I'd have to strangle you

[Ann Mintz]

Anyone ever see The Stuffed Owl, an anthology of bad verse ("The Dentiad" epic poem by a dentist.) Or Mark Twain writing on the literary sins of James Fenimore Cooper?

[quin browne]

kawfeeee is the local twain expert, ann... it does sound very amusing, though.

[Jelena]

Hahaha, I remembered that episode of Friends when Joey, oops, I mean - baby kangaroo Tribbiani writes a letter of recommendation for Monica and Chandler.
Here's a part of it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW1lxwsK5_Q&feature=related

[Edward Dean]

Hmmmm;
Didn't I peruse this euphonium in "Anne of Green Gables"?

[Bob Clay]

I had a euphonium once .... but penicillin made it go away.

:-{}

[Walter Conley]

THESAURUS

The only book on earth I would support banning.

[Veronica Calverley]

Now I've read this, not one sentence understood without reading it several times. It was amusing though and reminds me a bit of the "Dictionary" episode of "Blackadder". With that said I shall return interfrastically with a sausage!!!! Lol!