What sort of comment is most helpful or preferred?

[Mike Handley]

A vent and a question ... 

In the last 48 hours on this site, I've been asked for my honest opinion on a piece, AND I've had an unsolicited comment deleted by another writer whose ego apparently cannot weather constructive criticism. I was happy to oblige the first, and I was pissed at the second -- since the criticism was on target. I actually liked the story and thought it both poignant and well written, except for a faulty simile.

I've been a writer and editor for three decades. While certainly fallible, I know the mechanics. A background in journalism has also instilled in me the most important of lessons: Do not make your reader stumble.

So my question, boys and girls, is what do YOU want in a comment? A lot of our posts are purely recreational. Some are snippets from what has been or is hoped to be published. I've wrestled with this ever since I joined 6S, and I'm apparently no closer to solving the riddle now than I was on day one, when I came across my first mixed metaphor.

What say y'all?

[shauna mcclure]

fucking a, gita...me too.

[Edward Dean]

Oh shut up Gita! You sound just like Sarah Palin!
Her attorneys have already contacted Blake with a "Cease and Desist" order.
The only thing you can't see from that windshield is Russia! :)

[Brad Rose]

Mike. A part of me wants to answer your query with the phrase, " I shall accept only fawning, smarmy simpering adulation, which is the fundamental reasons I write," but the other part of me, the adult, rational, serious writer part of me, has to answer "tell me whatever you think will improve this piece and genuinely make it stronger." In fact, I welcome unvarnished criticism--ok well maybe just a little varnish and shellack--because much as I hate to admit it, this is the only way I will have any chance of getting better at what I think is a hard-won craft. So bring it on! But please be gentle too.

[Robert Crisman]

I want to know what people think first of all. And I like praise too; who doesn't? I don't always like honest critiques, but I have sense enough to know that they do me good because they make me think. I've been attacked a time or two on this site and I don't like it, but that's okay too; I don't mind fighting and don't mind getting nasty if I feel it's called for.
Respectful debates on the other hand, especially political ones, are a gas.
In a way, all responses are good; notice is better than no notice, and there've been a number of things I've written that were ignored, which made me feel kind of bad.
I was a journalist too, and I agree you never want the reader to stumble, which means you gotta be clear. Journalism's a great school for any writer. Teaches you not to fuck around and that every word counts.

[Christine Calhoun]

I'm so trilled to be here and have people reading my stuff at all, man, its awesome. And if anyone wants to throw some constructive critisism my way I would love that too, I can take it, especially when it comes from someone with experience because it really does help. I took a creative writing class last semester and after listening to my teacher's comments and critiques I changed things around in my story and poem and they're much better now. Sometimes all you need is a fresh pair of eyes.

[Bob Clay]

I want all the things Gita wants, but also:
a faster than light spaceship.
half an hour with Angelina Jolie and a bucket of cream.

oh right ... comments .... shit ..... I think I stumbled (dig dig)

:-)

[Teresa]

Criticism is ALWAYS welcome, as I've said before. I've received it in various ways and they all work. I've gotten phone calls, "Check your spelling on that latest blog!", private emails and general comments. I like praise but only if I deserve it. There are bad blogs. I need to know it when I've written something weak, mistake-riddled, disjointed or just plain boring. Some will respond positively to a blog that someone else won't like and that's okay, too, though I tend to trust my toughest critics who are also some of my favorite 6S-ers. I had an editor tell me once, "This didn't make me feel anything and I don't really know why." Honest respectful comments are gold to me. My goal here is to grow and play. I can't grow unless I recognize my mistakes. Writing friends criticize friends' writing, even when it's hard to do. One could always end on a positive note, "I stumbled over this, LOVED that, found a spelling error and I wish you'd have lopped off those last few words but I still give this piece a 7.5 because overall it was wickedly funny and heartbreaking at the same time; it'll be a 10 if you fix it." Then you could throw in for good measure, "And I still love you...even if you SUCK today." Genuine efforts to help shouldn't bruise anyone's ego.

[Sandra Davies]

What do I want in a comment?
1) I no longer need a comment as an indication that I’ve been read because there is as dedicated a bunch of readers on 6S as I’m likely to come across anywhere – no comment I take as indication that my piece lacks that wow factor. At the same time I know that I often refrain from adding just a “liked this” because I don’t want to appear indiscriminating, which I assume others feel too (and praise from those who do not discriminate is worth less.) But we all have other lives too and time is another factor.

2) Having been positively welcomed into 6S – the regulars invariably treat learners with sensitivity and tolerance – and found my writing feet, I now look to be treated seriously as a writer therefore constructive criticism is very welcome, valued and necessary if I am to hone my craft, particularly from the regular core whose writing I admire, and whose standards raise mine, in emulation.

3) Praise is wonderful, uplifting, leaves me with a big grin on my face for hours after – but ... at the risk of sounding churlish – it has more value if/when it comes from my ‘core’ sixers.
N.B. – this ‘core’ keeps getting added to ...

[Sandra Davies]

Mike - what's the etiquette for sending a blast of emails to said core sixers who have apparently - and unforgivably - failed to comment on one of my blogs - is it OK to insist, nay demand under pain of causing one of my eternal sulks that they drop everything and do so ASAP?

[Mike Handley]

I totally understand the joy of praise, but it's more than that. Just receiving e-mails that someone has bothered to comment -- whether to compliment my cartoon ass or to marvel at the turn of a phrase -- rocks my world. That I take so much joy from it really surprises me, too, because I didn't join 6S to write at all; I joined to read. Nor did I expect to cherish the many friendships I've inadvertently made here, but my day isn't complete unless I interact with many of you. A planned quick perusal of the site can easily kill three or four hours.

Answering my own question, I'd have to say that I welcome all comments: good, bad or indifferent. In my case, they're food for my heart, not my brain ... unless Rob unwittingly sends out a call to arms on a social or political issue, in which case I'll happily engage in debate.

As an editor, it's hard for me to read anything without my mind's red pen poised like a dowsing rod. Most of the time, I can ignore its pulsating. When I can't, I'll either say what's on my mind or simply skip to the next post. Time, my frame of mind and the writer's identity are all factors in how I'll handle the urge to lay down some red ink.

ALL of the comments so far have raised great points, and I'll definitely come back when I have more time. Meanwhile, I'm compelled to explain why the deletion that served as the catalyst for this discussion got under my skin.

I didn't know the writer; I read her piece because there was a lull in postings by my favorite Sixers. That I read the entire blog several times and was moved enough to devote a good half-hour to penning a response was testament to the strength and beauty of it. When my comment was erased, which certainly was her perogative, I experienced page rage. I gave her almost an hour of my time; mentioned that I really enjoyed the piece; and ended with the suggestion that she use another word or simile to describe something.

Okay, so I'm over it now. I've lived and learned. But I do have more to say on the topic, mainly in response to some of the cool things y'all have brought to the fore. So, later ...

[Mike Handley]

You mean the commenting advice born of actual events? :-) 

If so, I still practice it.

[Robert Crisman]

So that's what it was? You praised her piece and suggested a better simile and she flipped out and erased you? Jesus, Mike! That was the simile she'd fallen in love with! There's one in every piece written, you love it like religion, and anybody suggests there might be something better, you're ready for jihad.
She hasn't learned yet that sometimes the one that you love detracts from the whole...