Creative Support

[Cita]

For those of you actively writing either for a living or for a future living or even as a passionate hobby, what does this look like in terms of your intimate relationships, those you live with?  What does "support" for your writing and other creative endeavors look like for you?  What sucks away your creative energy and keeps you from writing?  What boulsters you and feeds that ember of creativity burnind within?  Tell me... if you were to craft the perfect life-partner to support your need to write, how would they "be" in your life?

 

In turn, how do you (or would you) be supportive of a highly creative, talented person in your life?

[Cita]

Ah.  If you find someone to write "damned query letters" let me know.  (Bangs head against wall.)

[Gita]

Amy -- you say that your man wants you to go play cowboy with him as if that were not such a good thing. But having read the pieces your write when you come back from the trail, I'd say it is a fabulous source of creative imagery.

@ Jamie: I'm not sure what Jodi's looks have to do with her role as a support system for your writing.  Do you mean that a plain-looking wife would be less or more helpful? 

Personally I would write whether I were married, single, widowed or divorced. Like the rest of you, I can't not write.

It's just nicer this way.

[Cita]

Gita,

Thank you for calling me on this one... and you are right... playing cowboy feeds my writing, feeds my creative fire so much.  And like you, I would write no matter what... and it is nicer to have someone around who understands.  My frustrations pop up when energy gets sucked away... but I am always brought back to the hard cold truth that it can only be sucked away if I ALLOW it to.  A

 

[Deborah Jovan Reed]

I think just about everyone who knows me knows I write and most are willing to be sounding boards for my stories (short, novella, or novel).  None can understand why I'm not published (they applaud my works so much they don't understand why I don't feel they are worthy of publication - I don't understand why I don't feel they're ready yet). 

The only thing - besides plain old writer's block - that sucks away my creative energy is my medication. For two years I was doped up on Keppra I couldn't think of a thing to write. I normally would burn through four or five composition notebooks a year, if not more - filled solely with ideas, outlines - and for two years I didn't even complete one. Anger, Depression, Passion, Love - whatever emotion I feel I channel into my work. So far it's just been medication that's kept me from writing.

The perfect life-partner would be someone who tells me honestly whether its ready or needs work - unclear here or there. I know I'm not perfect each time and so I would appreciate someone who tells me so, or asks for more - what happens next?  They'd let me be moody, wouldn't become nervous if I asked something like, 'Is it better to slit your wrist across or follow the vein?' (hopefully they'd know or get on the computer for me and find out - FYI someone told me it's to follow the vein because it's harder to suture) They'd know the word I need when I'm stumped (Marshall Chapman often recounts  how in her song 'Call The Lamas' it was 3 in the morning and she woke her husband and even in his annoyed confusion when she asked for a 4-syllable word that means something like majestic but more rich, more holy he said 'transcendental' then turned over and went back to sleep.)

I would in turn do these sort of things for my partner.

[Angela]

The story about "transcendental" was fantastic.  I would love to do that for anyone, regardless of the time of day.

I like what you had to say about gaining input from a partner, and how important it is to have freedom of thought.

[Michelle]

My hubby keeps me stocked with Merlot :)  But seriously, reading autobiographies of amazing individuals bolsters my energy and helps me stay focused.  What sucks my energy?  My embarrassing addiction to a couple of reality TV shows.  I will totally deny this if confronted.  

[Angela]

Tell which ones.  I like Project Runway.  No shame in it, girl.

[bolton carley]

i love project runway!  a highly creative show that makes anyone think outside the box.

[FlowerChild]

I completely agree with you. A truly embarrassing addiction of mine is my horrible fixation on America's Next Top Model. I know that I will never be rail thin (I happen to like food WAAAAAAYYYYYY too much thank you very much) or as exotic looking as those girls and thats why my self esteem can handle it ;) 

[Angela]

Being creative is, for me, an intensely private pursuit.  So, with respect to my intimate relationships, it is necessary for me to be there, and not be there, at the same time.  I think it takes a large amount of security for someone to see me so engaged in something that essentially cuts them out of my thoughts entirely.  What is of greatest concern to me is that I not self-censure my writing, which can be difficult given my standard fare, if I feel like someone is peeping over my shoulder.  Foremost, I need someone who respects my privacy of thought and my privacy of product when it is required.  I write things that I don't necessarily want everyone to read, and I need to be free to do that.  Perhaps one day my writing will mature enough that all my words are open to everyone (if that is maturity).

I support a highly creative, talented person in the general manner that I like to be supported.  I only look at what he brings to me to show to me.  I am specific in my feedback, but only when it is asked for.  I do not interrupt him or comment when he becomes verbal with his frustration.  I encourage him when he wants to purchase materials.  I never touch anything he does without being invited (and he never invites, and that is perfectly okay).  I call attention to his work when others are in our home, because he is modest and will not call attention to it himself, although he enjoys knowing that others like what he does.

With respect to creative freedom, I think we may be the perfect match.

[Cita]

I like what you said about being there and not being there at the same time, Angela.  We have huge picture windows across the front of our house.  Thankfully I am with a partner who understands that sometimes, when one stares out the window, coffee cup cooling in hand, one is WRITING even though there is no paper or pencil or keyboard in sight.  I had already cooked breakfast, and it was just waiting on us... and he very quietly went about making his own coffee before he gently drew me back into the room so we could eat.  I was writing.  And he was happy for me.

[Carolyn]

My family knows I write, but they don't follow or even read what I write. Yes, I have asked for their opinions, but I don't usually get any, and the few I get are like "I'm glad we gave you a good vocabulary" or "I don't read this kind of story, so my opinion doesn't mean anything". My vocabulary is from a lot of reading and a lot of schooling, and their opinion matters to me, but they don't hear that (Yes, I tell them.)

I have a colleague who writes screenplays, and he'll look at my chapters, offering an occasional comment, but, for the most part, my support is from my listsibs on the internet, at the critique forum, the few who comment on my posts on my blog, and any comments I get here.